Green is for Exits

2012 and anime

2012-01-09T19:56:00.003+08:00

a new year..
if you've been reading my blog,
the only thing for you to notice is that the list of anime (which is on the left) gets longer every now and then. Currently that list is the only thing here in this blog that is updated. Somehow I am just not motivated to blog. There are also some anime in the "Currently Watching" that I'm also not motivated to complete (Fafner in the Azure; Touch; Monster), telling myself that I'll do it some other day, some other time.

From Kung Fu Panda: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called Present."

Sometimes current anime, or anime I found are just too appealing that I started to watch the whole series, and forget anime that are currently being watched.

Uniforms uniforms

2011-11-19T17:12:00.006+08:00

I was just reflecting on my love for anime cosplay and anime uniforms.The thought of creating and wearing anime uniforms especially from my favourite Gundam animes.

So why not create a club where anime and manga lovers and otakus can gather and do activities together. Why not create the club as a CCA or a interest group in a poly or some institute. There'll be a lot of sewing, since the bulk or the focus of the club will be to cosplay. But other activities are also welcome, such as toy modeling, discussions and spreading the truly unique japanese culture that revolves around anime and manga. I have a feeling that this idea of mine already exists, so I'll just join the club if it is already there, and that will save me so much problem..

Uniforms which I would like to make and/or wear:
- Zeon uniform from Gundam
-Earth Federation uniform from Gundam
-ZAFT Green, Red, Black and White uniforms from Gundam Seed
-Earth Alliance uniform from Gundam Seed
-OZ uniforms from Gundam Wing
-Neo Zeon uniforms from Gundam Unicorn
-Titans uniform from Zeta Gundam

As you can see I'm only interested in the military uniforms from the Gundam series. I like the design and it looks quite stylish. Especially Zeon uniforms from Gundam MS Igloo, which are heavily based on the uniforms worn by WW2 German soldiers.

Already I am thinking of converting a disused MP No.3 uniform into a Zeon uniform. Sieg Zeon!!

I think it will also be exciting to sew a costume for a girl. But then again, there are probably not many girls out there who share the same fetish I have towards military uniforms.

I also thought of creating anime badges for the cosplay uniforms that denotes which anime the wearer has watched. You know how military personnel will have those small coloured badges pinned on their uniforms that shows their amount of experience or achievements? I'm thinking of doing the same thing. Here's a few examples;
-for the original 0079 Gundam series, a badge that is top half blue and bottom half red, a yellow border around the badge and the head of RX-78-2 in white in the middle of the rectangular badge.
-for Gundam 00 first season, a badge that is top half green and bottom half blue with the head of the Exia in white in the middle of the badge.
-for Gundam X, a badge that is top half red, bottom half blue with a white border and the head of Gundam X in white with a yellow v-fin in the middle of the badge.

I could only think of gundam badges because I'm crazy about Gundam.

CCCLXXXIII DAYS TO ORD.

The Medical Pathway to Signing on.

2011-11-19T13:39:00.005+08:00

I have been told that I should go and sign up for a poly course now. But the thing is that I don't really know what course I should pursue. I'm thinking of following my sister and go nursing. Even if I'm going nursing, signing on in the army is still an option I might want to take. Get diploma in nursing then sign on to be a medic or medical military expert. Why not now? I don't really want to sign on now. Especially since I don't really like what I'm currently doing now. But this is not to say that I hate becoming an MP. I actually am proud to be an MP. I just don't like what I do after becoming an MP. I hate the idiots that I work with. I'll be happier working somewhere else, I believe. But if I manage to become a medical soldier, I hope my luck won't be bad enough that I'll end up in where I'm working in now, again.

I can't seem to see myself doing anything else for a living other than some thing that involves the wearing of uniforms.Be it as a soldier, policeman, firefighter, civil defence medic, customs , ICA, or a student.. I think that I'm addicted to wearing uniforms.

I should expand my imagination and find other possible careers.

CCCLXXXIII DAYS TO ORD.

1 year soldier, not yet.

2011-11-18T23:00:00.003+08:00

I have already been promoted to the rank of Lance Corporal a month ago, but I have not reached the one-year mark for my National Service. Long way to go. I hate going to work. I literally drag myself to work. I wanted to transfer but I'm just to scared to ask for one. So I'm just stuck with this shitty job for at least half a year more.. I don't think that I'll be upgraded from floor duty anytime soon. Furthermore, the lack of my batchmate, only makes life more miserable. I think that jackass is enjoying life somewhere out there.

Anyway, need to spend less money. I believe I've spent way too much money this month. There was the Anime Festival. I stupidly bought model kits. I should've bought more anime shirts instead. But still at the end of the day, I was going to lose money anyway. Looking forward to next year's.

Also need to exercise more. I was able to endure 3 x 20 minutes intervals of running. I just hope that I have a chance to get gold for ippt. The last one I took (which was in MPTS) ended up in silver due to my 2.4km run and the shuttle run. First time in life I did so badly in shuttle run. I used to easily get A for shuttle run. I guess my lack of running and sprinting is showing. As for the 2.4, I missed it by 5 seconds.

In my effort to achieve the gold, I've already started running. I bought new running shoes from new balance. While all of my previous shoes were running cushioning shoes, the ones I bought were focused more on stability. They look nice, with a white, green, grey and black colour scheme like Tiger from Tiger and Bunny (an anime), and it feels great while running. Perfect for running on the treadmill in the gym in camp, havent really tested the shoes outside, although I do walk to work wearing the new running shoes. One and only thing I dislike about the shoes is their complete lack of grip and traction on wet surfaces. I think it has something to do with how much surface contact the sole of the shoe has on the surface. I'm guessing that too much contact makes the shoe slip on wet surface. Or maybe it's just the material of the shoe soles. I'm not really sure, but I'm would really like to run with my shoes outside rather than just running on the treadmill all the time.

CCCLXXXIV DAYS TO ORD.

Destiny of the Desert

2011-11-02T00:55:00.005+08:00

I will move on and as long as I know that I'm alive
It never stops, life goes on!

Everyday my sanity is tested in this place I know.
The wind it seems to blow through me.
As I wander on beside the rising of the morning sun,
I see it smile and laugh at me.
Only if a moment of concentration,
Is lost and that may have cost you your life.

I will move on and as long as I know that I'll survive,
The Desert can't slow me down!
I drop down to my knees and raise my eyes up to the sky,
The Desert's a lonely place.
And the sand is rising as it spins,
Is lifted by the scorching winds,
It never stops, but life goes on!

CD days to ORD!

Self-Praise

2011-10-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

It seems like a really large, blackened pearl.
And the tighter you hold it the harder it gets.
A lump of mud so black that it shines.
Its shape is irregular.
But this is the shape that I made with my own two hands.
It's not because I'm going to turn it into a beautiful gemstone one day.
But, what matters is that I made it to become the world's most beautiful
Lump of mud.

Blogging from camp

2011-09-11T18:18:00.002+08:00

My first time blogging from camp. I wonder if any security agencies will take note of this. The keyboard I'm typing on sucks, it's "SPACE" is faulty and requires extra effort to type "SPACE".

Next to me are my Section Commander, Mok and my upperstudy, Schaz. And Setcom is ordering us KFC for dinner.. Damn keyboard.I'm getting tired of typing.

Talk

2011-09-04T14:15:00.004+08:00

Kyon (to the cat): Good work. I'll treat you to a can of cat food later. Or would you prefer dried sardines?
Cat: Either's fine with me.
Kyon (Shocked, wondering if the cat spoke to him): Was that Nagato just now? I was asking the cat.
Cat: That was my assumption. Therefore, my response. Was I mistaken in some way?
Koizumi: This is a surprise. A male calico...
Kyon: Uh, that's not the issue here.
Asahina: I'm shocked. A talking cat...
Cat: I cannot fathom why you people are so surprised.
Kyon: Is this one of those cat-demon-type creatures?
Cat: Indeed from your perspective, it may appear that I am emitting sounds which resemble human speech. If that is the case how can you be sure that the sounds i emit are meant to express the meaning of the words you hear?
Kyon: It's, you know... Because you're answering my questions.
Cat: Is it not possible that the sounds I am emitting simply conform by coincidence to the conditions of an answer to you question?
Kyon: Wouldn't your reasoning suggest that fellow human beings could be talking without holding an actual conversation?
Cat: You are absolutely correct. Two people could engage in actions that would make it appear as though a conversation was occurring, and nobody would have any way of knowing whether or not accurate communication occured.
Koizumi: Since people may or may not say what they really mean in different situations.
Kyon: Could you keep your mouth shut?!
Asahina: When you put it that way, it does make sense, right?
Kyon: Sorry, but could you also keep your mouth shut?

Taken from Episode 14 of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya 2009

Zeta

2011-08-30T12:43:00.002+08:00

Just finished watching Zeta Gundam.
I really liked the whole series, it has a different feel than its predecessor, Mobile Suit Gundam, due to its darker themes and a lot more characters. It is also amazing how fight scenes from Zeta are similar to the that of newer series.. An example, during the last episode, Riders of the Sky, the Zeta Gundam and The O, piloted by Scirocco, fired their beam rifles simultaneously. And the beams from both mobile suits collided, causing an explosion in between the two mobile suits... A similar, no pretty much the same scene (although the weapons used are not beam rifles) during Gundam Seed Destiny and it occured more than once, whenever the Strike Freedom Gundam battles the Destiny Gundam.. The Destiny would fire its high-energy long range cannon at the Strike Freedom which was then followed by the Strike Freedom firing its multi phase beam cannon that resulted in an explosion whenever the high energy beams met each other. Maybe this scene was just there to honour the particular scene between the Zeta Gundam and the O..

The series ended with many characters dead.. I guess Zeta was one of Tomini's bloody animes.. Well at least Kamile Bidan, the main character survived, although he seemed to be badly scarred by his fight with Scirocco. A tragic end for the hero.. Char Aznable/Quattro Bajeena went missing while Hamann Karn survived, which will probably pave the way for the next gundam series, Gundam Double Zeta.

Cant seem to find Mobile Suit Double Zeta Gundam anywhere..

Snow Kiss

2011-05-29T00:05:00.003+08:00

I miss D.Gray-Man

I remember that I used to adore those black and white uniforms that is worn by the protagonists. I love how each character's unifom is customized, a hood for Allen, an orange scarf for Lavi, a mini skirt for Lenalee and a belt for Kanda, which is probably used to hold his sword..

There are also other uniforms, such as the more fitting second uniform. The second version looks tight compared to the first which resembles an overcoat. The third uniform is black and red, and appears mostly in the manga, which i dont read, also it does make an appearance in the last episode of the anime. Still of all the three uniforms, my favourite is still the first version.

I loved the uniform so much that I actually wanted to have it. I think the uniform could actually be a nice jacket or sweater to wear. But it was hard to get. Besides, not all cosplay costumes are designed to be worn everyday. Most costumes also look different from the one in the anime. A lot of costumes are baggy, probably because the designer didnt get the dimensions right.

Hmm I might be wearing a uniform for the rest of my life.

The Winner (Richie Kotzen Ver.)

2011-05-15T11:37:00.002+08:00

a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend...

2011-05-14T07:39:00.003+08:00

being a trainee in national service doesnt permit me to visit the internet much. Or blogging for that matter. I havent been actively blogging for a really long time.

So I was bored. And sick. And sickness prevented me from doing i'm usual weekend activities of running or cycling around singapore. So i'm stuck with my laptop. That was when I randomly decided to visit some blogs. And I came across a blog with an entry that seems to be talking about me. Well i am quite surprised to see myself in anyone's attention, anyone other than my military commanders....

Well the reading the entry of the blog, I felt that I should write something too.

I'm quite sorry for the really drastic actions that I did. I just felt that I just didn't need a social life. Or rather, I don't deserve a social life.

I ended up destroying facebook, email.. lost all my contacts.. I was really depressed..

I remembered thinking back then, all these "friends on facebook", a few hundred of them, do they really care for me, even when I do care for them? We don't even say hi, let alone raise eyebrows.. So I felt that facebook was redundant. And began deleting everyone. Why her first?
I dunno. I think it was because she posted something which was then shown on my homepage. Someone had to be first. Her link being there right in front was just convienient. Clicked it, Scrolled down, "Unfriend friend" or something like that.. Then went on to the next person, who appeared in the list of "mutual friends".. It was like a game, a really sick game.. deleting one after another.. Trying to delete as much people before reaching a dead end and starting again with another person on my list of friends.

Sick. A really sick sick game. You might want to try with the people that you don't like on facebook. As for me, I ended up deleting everyone I knew...

I've been wondering if all i've been doing is right. If what I did is acceptable, to me, to others...

By the way, it's not your fault that I went on to kill my social life. You might have been the catalyst, but I don't want to see it that way. I'm just messed up. It's me. You're not the problem and neither are the other friends that I deleted in facebook. Its me.

I want to emphasize that it is not your fault. I was really stressed. But you couldnt have been the cause of the stress. You were away, in a faraway land of queens and princes and princesses.

I had a lot of problems back then. Just ended school knowing that i'm going to fail my As. Nothing to do. Cant get a job. I havent received my Enlistment letter and for some reason I was so afraid of going to prison. it was messed up. I thought my life will probably be like this until the day I die. I foresaw that I probably wont need the friends in facebook or facebook itself in this future that I thought about. So I deleted them. I felt a bit of pain, but at that moment, I honestly believe that it was the right thing to do, for me.

That was a few months ago. I got my enlistment letter, got enlisted. In the army now currently. I think I have recovered from that stupid event. If anyone says that what I did is immature, i would agree to them. I'm twenty this year and I feel the need to be more mature, especially with all the adult burdens coming down on me.

Even though i said that i've recovered, i think it is more accurate to say that i no longer think about the deleting incident. I am still an emo person, although I only cry when I watch really sad anime. In the army, everyone keep telling me that I am always too stressed, too serious and too stern. They keep telling me to lighten up, be happier and to smile more. I try to. My commanders also tell me to relax and to smile more, so it would be offence if I do not attempt to improve myself. But I still do not smile or laugh as much as any average person or during the time that we had together while you were still in school. I always have that "sian" look, a look that is definitely not a happy one, but a mix of anger and sadness and boredom. And even when i do smile, it always looks like a dishonest smile, unless I show my teeth like the Darlie guy. (By the way, I now use the SAF issued Colgate)

So about the facebook thingy, I happened to open a new one, after a lot of persuasion from my BMTC friends, who keep insisting me to have one, even when I already told them I already know what it feel like to have facebook. Every weekend on my weekend off from camp, I just post something on our platoon facebook group. Tell them somethings about Military Law (I feel an obligation to do so as a Military Policeman and a friend) and hope that what I tell them can help keep them out of trouble.

To the girl, who is the owner of the blog, who i used to love:
I'm not waiting for you, I'm glad you found your guy. And I'm glad youre happy. And I'm happy to know that youre happy.
I do have plans, I'm thinking of studying in a poly after two years of compulsory national service.
After poly, or if I do not get into poly, I will probably go back into the army. And I'm being serious here.
And yes you've changed. Sorry for not realising when I should have realised.
Sorry for suddenly cutting you off. I regretted what I did. But I just dont have the guts to add you in facebook. If I see you in Singapore or if I see see you in your country, I'm not sure if I'll approach you. After what I did, to you, I'm not really sure if I deserve to be treated as a friend. I'm just not confident in myself. I feel that I do not have the right to intrude into your life. Somehow, I am content with looking at you do well in life from a distance.
Thanks for thinking of me as a good friend, I shall cherish that.

Mugi's Falcon Punch

2011-05-08T17:02:00.000+08:00

The Legend of Gundam

2011-05-08T16:40:00.009+08:00

Just ended reading Gundam-Sousei...

Standing before the
18-meter Gundam,
Left to right:
Yoshikazu Yasuhiko (Character Designer)
Kunio Okawara (Mechanical Designer)
Yoshiyuki Tomini (Director)

Screw English!!

2011-05-07T15:03:00.002+08:00

MP

2011-04-23T15:40:00.001+08:00

Currently serving as a Miltary Policeman Trainee..
POP on the 22nd of June.

I wonder what posting will I get after training school.

m.o.v.e. - Blazing Beat ~ DOGFIGHT

2011-04-02T21:24:00.001+08:00

Destiny

2011-02-26T21:23:00.003+08:00

Extracted from PHASE-29 of Gundam Seed Destiny.

Gilbert Durandal is the chairman of PLANTS and a former genetics scientist. PLANTS is a group of space colonies where genetically altered people called Coordinators live. Durandal sits alone in a dark room, in front of a chess set, staring at it. As he thought about recent events, he remembered a conversation that he had with his old companion, Rau la Creuset. Rau is an officer of ZAFT, the military of PLANTS and is also a human clone. Because Rau is already dead, what Durandal sees and interacts with is actually a memory of the conversation that he had with Rau in the past.

(Rau suddenly appears seated on the chair in front of Durandal and the chess set. He appears to be grinning at Durandal and quickly disappears.)

Durandal: I do not know when, where or why they met each other. And yet their souls were attracted to one another, as if they were destined..
But if we can attribute events to destiny, then why do we struggle to live?

Rau: (Appears and picks up a chess piece) All living things are born and they eventually die. That's all there is to it.

Durandal: So you're saying that it's pointless to wish or hope for anything?

Rau: No, no, that's not it. It is simply the truth behind us human beings and this world that we love so much.. No matter how long or how hard you strive to live.
It's something everyone should know but they forgot. However, I alone will remember... I'll never forget it. All that means, though, is that I've never forgotten the meaning behind the life of someone such as myself. (Rau laughs and disappears)

Durandal: But even you chose life... As if you were resisting something... As if you were longing for something... (Stands) What are we to do when we found out that our wishes will not be fulfilled? When we find out that it has been destined?

(Rau appears again, this time standing behind the chair that he sat on)

Rau: I wouldn't know about such a thing. I only know about myself.
It's like moving through a maze. There are always many paths before you, and we always choose one and simply follow it. You all believe that what lies at the end of the path is what you've been wishing for. And I follow the path in order to confirm the fact that there is nothing for me in the end. (Rau disappears)

Durandal: (Grabs a chess piece and looks at it closely) Just who decided it? And what did they decide? Perhaps what we wish for was actually beyond the path that we weren't able to choose..

(Rau appears, standing besides Durandal with his arms folded and is grinning at Durandal)

Rau: Time will run out while you ponder.

(Durandal clenches the chess piece and frowns in frustration)

Rau: A path that you did not choose might as well never existed. You might think, "... If only back then... If only back then..."
We cannot go back, no matter how much we look back. We cannot change anything. All we can do is to keep moving forward into the unforeseeable future.

(Durandal sits and places the chess piece back on the chess board. Rau is seated)

Rau: Some time other than now... Some place other than here... That wonderful thing must be there... (Rau laughs) Will you all walk down the path of bloodshed for all eternity, in search of what you wish for? How unfortunate.

Durandal: Are you saying that there is no salvation?

Rau: What is salvation? Is it for all of your hopes and wishes to come true? Are you trying to say, "... It wasn't supposed to be like this... " ? Is it for your wishes to be granted, to turn back time?
Then can you say for sure that you won't make a mistake the next time?
Just who decided it? And what was decided?

(Durandal frowns)

Durandal: Then I will change everything! If we can't go back, then I will begin by travelling down the correct path. Adenine, Guanine, Cytosine, Thymine... What one can do... And what one should do... Because you yourself know that best.

(Rau has already disappeared. Durandal is alone again. He smiles to himself)

There you have it. Some lines from the anime.
Just finished watching Gundam Seed Destiny. One of my favourite Gundam series.

Friends - Stephanie

2011-01-27T15:37:00.002+08:00

We used to have the same smile,
but too many years have passed since then
and I am tormented by that fact that we couldn't accept each other.
So, I cast off my pride,
to bring tenderness to this world.
I've got to say,
even if you show courage and pretend to be strong,
you can't live all alone.
The promise that we made on that day
remains deep in my heart.
If life goes,
you must not forget, yeah.
Don't let it go,
this vast land, and your friends..

R.I.P Lockon Stratos / Neil Dylandy, although his soul probably wont rest in peace yet, well not until the end of season two... hahaha... I've watched Neil's last moment many times and it still brings me to tears. I wondered how many viewers and gundam fans cried when episode 23 of season 1 was aired in japan.

Last words from Lockon Stratos (Neil):

"You people, are you satisfied with this world?

I'm not..."

From Dusk Till Dawn - Abingdon Boys School

2011-01-22T17:03:00.002+08:00

As the light of the sun waned at dusk
I felt someone pushing my back,
And I walked to where the shadows led me.
Again and again, for so many times,
I've gone through endless meetings and farewells.
Just where am I going?
Everyone is being led astray
Burdened by the fate known as sin,
Yet we go on to understand what life means to us.
So day by day
We head for the next dawn
And as the road goes on
It'd be nice if we could be together
Just you and me.

one piece

2011-01-22T01:13:00.003+08:00

I think I should stop reading one piece since I'm getting tired of the long storyline. The plot or storyline seems to get more and more nonsensical, even by my standards. It is looking very much like the reason why I hate bleach and discontinued bleach. I did not stop reading one piece earlier because while it is a long winded and seemingly never ending like bleach, there are still so much I that I dont know about one piece and I was hoping that this will cause me to want to know what happens next and be interested with one piece. Well now I'm really tired with one piece. Luffy will probably beat someone strong at the end and that is when the series will end. But the freaking story has only recently reached its halfway mark so who knows when one piece will really end. I wonder if the Oda guy, or whoever the guy behind one piece is, has even thought of when the series will end or how the final scene will be like.. I no longer give damn. I really hate how the character are redesigned, I prefer the original designs. If one piece was a short series, it will definitely be a good one. But unfortunately for me, it is just too long and the storyline is affected from that to produce a lousy series that I no longer want to read.

destroying my facebook

2011-01-21T20:13:00.004+08:00

Last night I slept at 5am after destroying my facebook account. What started as a look through the photos that were in my profile ended up in a deleting frenzy. Apparently I didnt like how I looked in the photos. Well to be honest, I always don't like how I look, my appearance. I'm fine being an ugly person, because I find that it is too hard to be good looking. Not that I am a good looking person to begin with. So since I hate my appearance, I started to remove my tag on the photos that I was tagged in. I went all the way to the extent that I not only that cleared or emptied my wall photos, I also deleted my "art" photo album in my account. Now there is only three photos in my account and they are all display photos. Then I remembered that I've got so many "friends" in facebook that I've never had a conversation with or even smiled at. So I went on to search for these people in my "friends" list and delete them off. I wondered why I even allowed them to be a "friend" in facebook. Somehow as I was about to do that, I came to a realisation that facebook is quite irrelevant to me. I am an anti-social person. I do not care for my own social life, because I do not have one, or at the very least, have a very small and very inactive one. So I decided that I'm going to delete all of my "friends". The closest "friend" that I have right now doesnt even have a facebook account yet I am still in contact with him once in a while. The irrelevance of facebook.

The first person I deleted was cat. She had just publicly announced on facebook that she is in a relationship with some guy who I have no idea about. I thought she was hanging out with another guy but I guess I was wrong. Now that I think back about this, I wondered if this event triggered the destruction of my facebook account..
No. The event is irrelevant to my facebook account's destruction. Afterall, cat is an irrelevant person to me. And I am irrelevant to her. Just like how facebook is irrelevant to my life. I don't see a reason as to why I should be a "friend" to a person who I rarely get to see. I don't even talk to her anymore. I don't want to talk to her or keep in touch with her. I don't want to her to be a part of my life or for me to be a part of her life. And the same would go to most of the "friends" that I had deleted. Actually the word isnt delete, since you cant really delete the person (murder?) or their accounts. The correct term to use is "unfriend".. Haha. "Unfriend".. I remember clicking that button so many times. I had about 400 plus "friends" when I started. So I pressed the "unfriend" button about 400 plus times and now I have zero "friends" in facebook. Oh and about cat, if she ever comes back, I dont want to see her. Nope. I dont need to see her.

After "unfriending" all of my "friends" in facebook. I went to delete my wall posts. So many memories. So many stupid comments I made. There were even comments which were made when fikri still treated me like a normal friend and these somments also showed how I abused his friendship and kindness and how much I deserved to not be his friend. To be honest, I dont have the right to be his friend since I dont have the ability to apologize and make it up for the sins and misdeeds I've done to him, Well not just him of course. There are so many more that I have offended and abused. And I don't have the right to be friends with them. Maybe this is the most appropriate justification as to why I should destroy my facebook account. Since facebook's purpose is to find and make friends, it is irrelevant to me since I dont have the right to have friends.

Other that my three display photos, my facebook account looks like a brand new account right now. All that is left to do is to delete my facebook account.

lost items

2011-01-19T10:46:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I dropped something in front of my eyes and couldn't find where that object went, I can't help thinking that the object had vanished into thin air or teleported into a another dimension or taken away by some naughty and mischievous spirit. I dropped something in my own room and I can't find it at all. I felt really stupid.

my 1/144 High Grades

2011-01-17T22:31:00.006+08:00

I remembered writing on this blog once that I own some or a lot of gunpla. I remember writing about my two SD, or Super Deformed Gundams, the Strike Freedom and RX-78 NT-1 Alex who (should I use the word who?) / that are still posing besides my laptop and staring at me or the keys of my laptop. My SD Gundams aside, all of my gunpla collection are 1/144 High Grades.

I've got quite a collection now. If I'm not wrong, I think I started gunpla when I was in Sec 2. Bought a 1/144 no grade Buster Gundam. Wow my first gunpla and first gundam. Then as I learned the value of saving money, I bought another gunpla, 1/144 no grade Zaku Warrior. I was in Sec 3. By the time I bought the Zaku Warrior, my Buster was already damaged and I was quite bored with it, since it could only do a single pose (not surprising since it is a no grade kit). The Zaku was better than the Buster, the shoulders were much more flexible. I remember painting the Zaku. Eventually the Zaku was also damaged. Time passed. I had a bigger allowance and saved more money and went on to buy my first High Grade, the Aile Strike Gundam.

Since I was new to the High Grade series, I was not used to the many small and fragile parts, and while I was assembling my Aile Strike, I broke a very important part. So important was the part that that without it, my gundam wouldn't be a gundam. I broke the damn V-fin! When finished, my Aile Strike looked like a gundam with a GM/Dagger head. It looked so ugly without the V-fin. And to think that I consider the Strike's head design to be one of the most ugliest gundam heads I've seen (mostly due to the V-fin's design).. Anyway it was a very unsatisfying piece of work/art, mostly my fault.. If I am given the chance, I would like to buy the Aile Strike again and do a much better job..

Weeks passed and I bought another gunpla.. This time, the Strike's second biggest nemesis, second only to the Aegis, the 1/144 High Grade Duel Gundam AssaultShroud. Remembering the mistakes I made on the Strike, I did a much much better job on the Duel. It was also the first time I used cutting tools to cut the pieces from the plastic frames. No broken V-fin this time :D Besides, the Duel has a simple design for its V-fin and not as fragile or thin as the Strike's. Haha, I still have this gundam, although it is already damaged and its AssaultShroud parts are missing or damaged.

After the Duel, I lost interest in gunpla for a long time. My Duel got damaged due to my own mishandling of the gundam (I kept it at my bed, stupidly)..

I bought my third one while I was in MI. I think I got it when I was in year 2. It was the Raider Gundam and it probably be one of my most favourite gunpla, since I had such little time to spend with it. It was my first large-boxed HG gunpla I bought and I finished it in a day. The next day my stupid little brother destroyed it. I was so frustrated and angry at him. At that time, SEED models are getting rare. It was also the only Raider I could find when I was looking for it. And it was destroyed a day after I made it. What the fuck. That event really made me hate him for the first time. Well the hate still continues. Probably the reason why we brothers don't talk to each other. No trust. I don't really care. I just see him as a stranger who I live with nowadays.

Raider's sudden death (my goodness, I'm treating them like they're real people) probably ignited my love for gunpla. Gundam 00 was airing. Seed models were non-existent and Seed Destiny models are declining. I went on to try and get Seed gundams but they were all sold out. So I went after Seed Destiny instead. I thought of getting the Monoeyes and I did. When Gundam 00 was at its peak, Gundam Seed-related gunpla were getting rare, so I switched to 00, although I remained on a lookout for Seed stuff.

Anyway, here's a list of High Grade gunpla I currently have..
Gundam Seed
-Duel Gundam
-Gundam Astray Blue Frame

Gundam Seed Destiny
-Sword Impulse Gundam
-Gunner Zaku Warrior (Lunamaria Hawke custom)
-Blaze Zaku Phantom (Dearka Elsman custom)
-GINN Type High Manuever 2
-Gouf Ignited (Heine Westenfluss custom)

Gundam Seed MSV
-CGUE Type DEEPARMS
-105Dagger + Gunbarrel
-Dreadnought Gundam (X Astray)

Gundam 00
-Exia Gundam
-Dynames Gundam
-Kyrios Gundam
-Nadleeh Gundam
-Cherudim Gundam
-0 Gundam
-GN-XIII (A-Laws colors)
-Gundam Throne Zwei
-Gundam Throne Drei
-Gundam Throne Eins (which I had completed today)

Hmm 20 gunpla. Quite a lot of Gunpla. My parents call them dolls. A young man like me playing with dolls. Amazing. But the way I see it, gunpla to me is like flower arranging to a woman. They may be dolls, but they represent war which is masculine. Well to be honest I don't really care which activities are the most appropiate for my age or gender, I just want to do the stuff I want to do without giving others or myself problems..

Haha, the Throne Eins reminds me of Megatron from the early Transformers cartoon. Both of them are fixed wth a really large gun. While the Throne Eins could deploy a larger gun, Megatron goes the extra step by transforming into a gun. By the way, I hate Transformers. Long live gundam.

Even with 20 High Grade gunplas, I still feel like getting a few more. Furthermore, out of the 20 I currently have, I have some lingering feelings that has been telling me that I shouldn't have bought them.. The gunpla that I have regret with are the 0 Gundam, GN-XIII and Cherudim. These three came from the second season of gundam 00 and I seem to be focusing on the first season, so I always felt that I've wasted money buying them.

Anyway the gunpla that I would like to have are:

-Dom Trooper & Kerberos BuCue Hound. (So that I can complete my monoeye collection from Seed) By the way, I noticed that all of my monoeye gunpla are customs or special mobile suits. It's a pity that the GuAIZ isn't available in High Grade. The Dom Trooper and Bucue are sold out in retail stores so I have to try my luck online.

-Virtue Gundam (So I can complete my collection of gundams from Gundam 00 season one)
- and I would also like to have one of the Flags (Union Flag, Over Flag or Graham's Custom Flag) and one of the Enacts (Patrick's or Saachez's) to complement the gundams.

I also realised that people who don't know a thing about Gundams or mecha will probably not understand what I had just written on top. Haha.

Shinkai no Kodoku (The Sea's Loneliness) - Houko Kuwashima

2011-01-15T22:24:00.004+08:00

Tell me about sorrow

You closed your eyes and said to me that you cannot see sorrow
Without knowing kindness, you decided
that you won't be hurt if you do not know kindness
The kind voice that I can't recall tells me so
I cannot remember the gentle sea
that I once held close to my mourning heart
Someone from my long forgotten past is calling for me
Asking when will I take back my sorrow that I lost
In this moment that will never repeat itself,
I can only see you

There is one ship glimmering softly, far away
It disappears into waves
In your heart with swirling sorrows on board
Why does it wander the seas
Searching for the love that it shouldn't even know about
Overcoming the waves, the boat of life will go on
It'll keep moving, overcoming the rough and starless seas
Beyond the darkness,
I can only see you

The wave that I saw one day disappeared towards the calm sea
Towards the bottom of the ocean, towards the kindness
Until the day that I take my sorrow back into my own hands
In this moment that will never repeat itself,
I can only see you

from Gundam Seed Destiny,
Stellar Loussier's theme

space

2011-01-11T14:25:00.000+08:00

I should probably clear out all the MI stuff that I've accumulated over the years..

sundays

2011-01-09T17:45:00.001+08:00

I used to hate sundays because monday comes after sunday and monday is a school day.
Now I think I'll miss that feeling.

Just Communication - Two-Mix

2011-01-08T17:38:00.004+08:00

Just wild beat communication
Standing in the lashing rain
I want to show my passionate, undying feelings
With my entire body tonight

I hold on to your wet shoulders to give you warmth and comfort
What are those shivering fingers after?
I want to protect the honest look in your eyes
Believing in the love that will change sorrow to strength

Just wild beat communication
Standing in the lashing rain
I want to show my passionate, undying feelings
With my entire body tonight

in a month's time

2011-01-07T17:22:00.002+08:00

Just realised that I' will be going to Tekong in exactly one month from today. I'm going in on the 7th of February, a day before my birthday. Today is the 7th of January.

I'm off to go for a run.

toilet cleaner

2011-01-07T10:46:00.002+08:00

Last night I had a really strange and horrible dream. It's not a nightmare, since it is not really frightening or scary, but I was really disgusted by it. The only thing I remember from my dream was that I was having a shower in my toilet, the one at home. I had finished showering and I looked down on the floor and saw that it looked really dirty, no filthy with a brownish colour on the tiles. But that wasn't enough to wake me up. I suddenly noticed some things moving on the floor. A worm here and there. Actually they were everywhere around the toilet floor. I might be interested in animals and even creepy crawlies, but this scene just disgusted me. There weren't many, but they were there. And they came in various sizes and colours.. Maybe they are of different species.. The large ones were black. I think they had legs.. Kind of like a slimy looking milipede that came from some animal's or someone's gut. The large black ones were surrounded by small white ones that looked like bits of pieces of bee hoon and noodle except for the fact that they were wriggling. I was squatting down, looking at group of those toilet creatures when I noticed that the creatures were creeping up on me and were around my legs. And that was when I woke up.

When I woke up, I washed my toilet.

I think I should be cleaning my toilet regularly from now on. It will also be a good preparation for my NS days, since we do clean toilets there.

Kimi no Uta - Abingdon Boys School

2011-01-07T08:37:00.002+08:00

It was as if I was getting sucked in
by the smell of the rusty rain
and the wet asphalt.
I hugged my knees
and looked at the low clouds passing by,
trembling in fear the entire time.

Even when you look down in despair
because of this twisted world
where even the kindness
that you gave me
would become lost,
I'll always be there by your side.

I'll lay down everything
for you right now.
If only it will come true.
All I was looking for
was a definite feeling of warmth,
so don't let go of my hand.

Shell - Bana

2011-01-06T14:01:00.003+08:00

I feel like it'll disappear
the instant I look away.
I just kept counting
all the traces of loneliness
that I had vomited.

In this time that seems so dry,
my heart is thrashing around and drowning.
It takes those lies that makes my head spin
and tears them to pieces.
And the place that I lose my way in
is a dim, hazy world.

Am I a S or a M?

2011-01-05T19:41:00.005+08:00

Been a while since I blogged. Two days ago, on a Monday, went to Batam for a day with Derek, Bobin, Janan, Fion and Khai Yin. Went to visit temples, had a seafood lunch, shopping, then finished it off with early dinner at A&W. Quite fun. I'm surprised that even my modest Malay was put to good use since most of the people there do not speak English. So for a short while my Chinese friends are able to feel how it is like to be speaking a minority language. I was really tired when I got home, but I felt like the trip was worth it. Next trip, Pulau Tekong..

Back to my usual blogging topic: Anime.

Completed three anime; Neon Genesis Evangelion; Amagami SS; and Kaichou wa Maid-sama.
Oh and I also watched three Japanese Movies; Blood: The Last Vampire; Evangelion: Death; and Mobile Suit Gundam F91.
I wonder if today's post will be a long one. Now I know why people are taught to write summaries.

Let's try to summarise. Starting with anime..

Neon Genesis Evangelion.. Great anime. ("Great anime"? I really should improve my vocabulary) What I like about it as a mecha anime: the Evangelions.. Combining mechanics with biology. It is just amazing. I heard that NGE is a descendent of both the Super-robot and Real-robot mecha genre. Godly and mysterious powers of the Eva combined with the fact that it is built and operated by humans.. Looks like some robot from the outside, but inside the polymer armour there is actually flesh and blood, and bones too.. Without the armour, the Eva looks like a human, a gigantic human.. And inside the flesh of the Eva is an Entry Plug, a sort of a detachable cockpit for the Eva, and of course it is the place where the pilot is located. So a pilot in a entry plug, in an Eva, wearing armour that looks like it belongs to a mecha. To top it off, it runs on electricity.. Amazing.. Well, compared to just robotic gundams, Evangelions are really amazing..
Evangelion, created by humans to fight Angels. I enjoyed every Evangelion versus Angel fight. There was this episode where Eva unit 1 tries to stop a nuclear-powered robot. I think that was the stupidest episode in the entire series. It probably served to highlight mankind's stupidity. Anyway, I like how every fighting scene is different and not repeated. Hmm, but then again, NERV doesn't fight the same Angel over and over again.. My favourite fight is the second last angel, the one that tried to drive Asuka crazy while orbiting Earth. Seems one-sided (to the Angel's advantage) initially. Even when Rei tried to shoot it down with a super long range sniper rifle (haha, kinda like Gundam Dynames), the Angel's AT field easily neutralised the rifle round. Then Gendo ordered Rei to retrieve the Lance of Longinus. The retrieval scene was epic. As Rei's blue painted Unit Zero descended down Central Dogma, it looked so small. As it crossed the sea of LCL, and passed by the NERV patrol boat, no, frigate, I am reminded of the Eva's size. Then Eva Unit Zero confronts the impaled Angel and pulls out out the Lance of Longinus.. And what damn long spear it is! I think each of the twin blades of the spear must be longer than the height of the Eva.. Unit Zero and the Lance are then elevated to the surface. Rei then takes up a throwing stance. The twin blades curl to form a helical rod and Unit zero throws the Lance towards the Angel. I know that the Eva possess superhuman strength (even for its size), but the Lance seems to be propelled by itself, and at quite a fast speed. The Lance easily tears through the Angel's AT field and obliterates the Angel in one shot. I didnt't know a rod can have such destructive power.
Other than the fights, I also like how the main character, Shinji, doesn't get the attention all the time. He is also the kind of guy who would not want any attention. Quite a lot of attention is given to the other characters, or secondary characters, like Rei, Misato, Asuka, Kaji. Although the anime ended without a battle, I like how the animator uses markers to illustrate the Instrumentality scene.

That's quite alot.

Next, Amagami SS. After seeing all of the 7 story arcs, I must say I like all of them except for the Nakata Sae arc. On the Kamizaki Risa arc, which is the last arc and the last episode, Kamizaki Risa is kind of like a hidden character. She has been liking the male protagonist, Junichi, for a really long time, but is unable to tell him her feelings, so she has been stalking him while at the same time secretly preventing him from getting too close to other girls. Well after hearing what Risa had done to him, he still forgave her, and they got together. As for me, I would feel a little creeped out if I found out that a girl is stalking me. But if the girl is cute..... hmm...

Kaichou wa Maid-sama. Completed watching the anime today. Misaki is the student council president of co-ed school that used to be a boys school. Since it used to be a boys school, there are very little female students, and the female students often suffered due to the male majority. As such, Misaki carries out her duties with a boys-hating attitude and strives to improve the school experience for the female student as well as improving the the image of the school. Misaki clashes with Usui, the hottest and most popular guy in school, since he was breaking the hearts of many of the female students by rejecting their confessions. Despite her strong image that she presents in school, Misaki secretly works part-time as a maid in a maid cafe. Her secret was discoverd by Usui, who decided to keep quiet about it but in exchange, he wanted her to be his personal maid. Misaki refuses, but Usui, continually teases, irritates and tags along with her.
I find this anime to be really interesting, maybe because I used to be in a student council, or student leader council/group..

Blood: Last Vampire was released before Blood+. The main character is the same, Saya, but the two are quite different.. The one in Blood+ is a really pretty asian girl (probably vietnamese) with short hair, has a huge appetite and is often confused and unsure of who she is and what she should do. The one in Blood: The Last Vampire is a normal looking girl who has a permanent frown that makes her ugly to and only thinks of slicing and killing chiropterans with a katana. The movie and the anime have no link whatsoever. The creators of the movie, decided to do an anime series based on the movie, so they only take the chiropterans from the movie. Thankfully they left the ugly and mad Saya behind and created a prettier Saya with a much better storyline. The movie, was just about killing chiropterans. I don't think that you need see Blood: The Last Vampire before watching or if you are watching Blood+. I watched the movie while I was still watching Blood+, and I must say that I was really turned off by how differently Saya was portrayed. Either way, I still can enjoy watching the pretty Saya in Blood+.

Two more movies to write about.. Endure!

Evangelion: Death.. It is a summary of the entire NGE series with some new scenes. It is also prepares viewers for the second part of the movie, Evangelion:Rebirth, which shows an alternate ending to Neon Genesis Evangelion. While ending of NGE shows the result of the Human Instrumentality Project, the alternate ending shows the process of the Human Instrumentality Project. Quite interesting. A must watch for an Evangelion fan like myself.

Mobile Suit Gundam F91. This movie was supposed to be a full length anime, but problems occured during the production and it ended up as a movie. As a movie, it wasn't impressive, since it was made using strips from the anime. As such the storyline is not constant, suddenly jumping from one scene to another and you see unfamiliar characters joining the storyline. However, watching the movie, I could see that it has great potential as an anime and could have been another great addition to the Gundam franchise as an anime. I wonder why Sunrise didn't turn it into a short OVA series and instead cramming everything into a movie. But whether as a movie or an anime, F91 seems to be successful, since the story from the movie is continued in Crossone Gundam, although Crossbone Gundam is a manga. But who knows, it might be turned into an anime.

Hah! Done! Now onto what I'm planning to watch.
Thinking of watching an anime called MM! It is about a guy who is is love with a certain girl, but he feels that he cannot confess to her until he cures his problem. I'm not too sure if his problem is truly a serious one. Apparently his problem is that he is a hardcore masochist, or M for short. So following an advice that he got from a friend, he then goes to the Second Volunteering Club where he found the president of the club to be really pretty and cute, but he unknowingly tested her patience and ended up getting beaten up. But being the masochist that he is, he enjoyed the beating. After seeing his hardcore masochistic side, the president decided to help him overcome his hardcore masochist side, by exposing him to so much danger that he will awaken his survival instinct instead of falling to his masochist side.
The way I see it, I think this anime will be similar to Toradora!, with the main male character falling in love for the possibly sadomasochistic club president.

idiots and truth

2010-12-27T00:12:00.010+08:00

Idiots
Idiots are special people. They do not understand normal people. Normal people do not understand them. Idiots may or may not understand another idiot. But then again, it will be hard to confirm if an idiot really does understand another idiot, so I guess idiots cannot really understand each other. Well, why bother to see if they can understand normal people or other idiots when they may even be unable to understand themselves to begin with. There are idiots who think that they are normal. There are idiots who only see the idiot in others but not in themselves. Idiots. I was once an idiot. No. I am still an idiot. I am an idiot. And I probably will be for the rest of my life.

Truth
Do I mind if I was called an idiot? No. Not really. It is not a lie to say that I am an idiot. Why am I so outspoken about this? Well, would you prefer to have me lie to you then? Or are just looking for a politically correct or morally correct answer? If so, then it is encouraged to lie? I thought it was wrong to lie. I just found out that there is a similarity between telling a lie and telling a truth. As much as it is hard to tell the truth about something, it is also hard to tell a lie about something. Similarly, as much as it is easy to lie about something, it is also easy to tell the truth about something. It seems that the deciding factor between whether I choose to lie or to tell the truth lies in whether it is easy or difficult to do so. But even if I choose to either have it easy or have it hard, I will eventually find myself to be lying and also telling the truth. Looks like I have to make a choice as to which is more important: to decide whether it is more important to tell the truth or lie or to decide wheter it is more important to have it easy or hard. I have heard that life is always full of ups and downs. So with that in mind, it seems certain that it is more important to decide whether it is more important to tell the truth or lie. As for me, I would choose to believe that it is more important to always tell the truth. When I say the truth, I find it to be liberating, and it frees me from the burden of knowing that I have lied. However, since I am who I am, there is absolutely no way that I completely stop myself from lying. So with that in mind, I try to make myself speak the truth regularly, so that I will hopefully get used to it. But in reality, I must confess that I am very very far away from my goal of reducing the amount of lies I make. Therefore, I embrace the very truth about me regarding the fact that I am a liar. It is a fact that does not change. I lie. I lied. And I will continue to lie. It is only natural that I lie. For me to stop lying, sounds like a lie itself.

Darker than Black

2010-12-26T14:39:00.003+08:00

As I clicked on "New Post" it occured to me that i'm not good on writing reviews on anime. Hahaha..

Just finished watching the gaiden for Darker than Black. It's called Darker than Black: Gemini no Ryuusei, or when translated, Darker than Black: Twins of the Meteor. I liked the first season better than the second season.

The first season is officially known as Darker than Black: Kuro no Keiyakusha. The anime is about a world in which there are "Gates", places where supernatural phenomenon occurs and the appearance of the Gates also brought about the appearance of Contractors; people with supernatural powers, yet needing to pay a price for the use of their powers (as in a contract). There are two Gates, Heaven's Gate in South America and Hell's Gate near Tokyo. The world is ruled by the Syndicate, an underground corporation that secretly pulls the strings of every government agency. The protagonist of the anime, Hei, is a contractor working for the Syndicate, and is infamously known as Kuro Shinigami or the Black Reaper.
The anime revolves around Hei and his comrades, and they get closer towards the truth about the mysterious Gate as well the Syndicate that they are working for.

After the success of Darker than Black: Kuro no Keiyakusha, the story continues with its second season, Darker than Black: Ryuusei no Gemini, which was released two years after Darker than Black. Although Ryuusei no Gemini came after Darker than Black, a short OVA series of 4 episodes was released after Ryuusei no Gemini which explained the events between Darker than Black and Ryuusei no Gemini. By the way, an OVA is a short anime, that may be an independent story or linked to a major storyline from another anime. OVAs may be as short as 2 or 1 episodes and as long as 13 episodes. In the OVA, Hei and his comrade, Yin, a female doll, are on the run after Hei managed to prevent the Syndicate from removing Contractors off the planet. (By the way, Dolls are humans with powers, yet the lack any will or thought, and it is said that a Contractor is a human who has failed to become a Doll) The Syndicate has crumbled due to the events inn Darker than Black but there are organisations scrambling to gain the control that the Syndicate once had. Yin, seems to be developing a new ability, which is something the organisations are after.

The second season, Ryuusei no Gemini, begins in Russia, the place where Yin, also known as Izanami, was being kept by an organisation. Hei, now working for the CIA, is also at Russia on a mission to kill Izanagi (a contractor that is believed to have a power similar to Izanami) and Izanami, not knowing that Izanami is actually Yin. He meets Suou, the "twin" of Izanagi and tries to prevent the prophesied meeting between Izanami and Izanagi.

I just realised that the official name for the first season is Darker than Black: Kuro no Keiyakusha. Translated it means the Black Contractor. Of course Kuro no Keiyakusha would refer to Hei, since he is the Black Reaper, or Kuro Shinigami in the anime. But the word Black can also refer to Hei's dark personality. A fitting title, since the first season revolves around Hei. The second season, Ryuusei no Gemini (Twins of the Meteor) is also a fitting name for the season since the main character has shifted to Suou, who is the "twin" of Izanagi.

Overall, it was a nice anime. Both seasons were great, although I prefered the first season better. I think I like the characters in this anime. Hei, able to put a facade of a shy and kind Li Shengshun, with the alias of an exchange student from China, but in reality is a cold-blooded contractor who works for the Syndicate. Its amazing how the two personalities are so different yet they are actually from the same person. It feels surprising to see the Hei's kind personality once again in the second season right after he and Suou arrived in Japan.
My favourite character would be Yin, a blind doll who works with Hei and Mao, a contractor trapped in a cat's body and Huang, a human who hates contractors. Yin, being a doll, is emotionless, so she never smiles, and her purple eyes are often looking down. She is quite cute, with long silver hair. She later evolves, which is seen when she starts to show concern for her comrades and even cries. In the Gaiden, or OVA, Yin grows very attached to Hei, admitting in the end that she likes Hei. I'm kind of sad that Yin does not get a lot of screentime in the second season, even though she plays a major role as the Izanami which everyone fears so much. but it's kind of ok since the role of Hei's female companion was given to Suou, a human girl who later became a contractor, but is still has emotions. Normally contractors do not have emotions and are rational, doing what they believe is necessary.

I also finished watching Princess Lover! I thought it's like Amagami, but it is not since the lover is kind of determined from the very beginning. The only similarity with Anagami is that the main character, a guy, gets to choose his lover from many female characters that are available.

Going to finish watching Evangelion. Has been a great series. Quite different from the storyline that I've seen in the modern movie interpretation.

Just started watching an anime called Kaichou wa Maid-sama. In the anime, the president of the student council, Misaki, works in a Maid cafe in secret. However, her secret was found out by a guy who she is really pissed off with. In return for keeping her secret, the president, has to spend time with Usui, the guy who she finds irritating. I think I will really like this anime. Hehehe.

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

2010-12-25T16:18:00.005+08:00

I probably could not express in words how great this anime is. I have never cried so much while watching an anime. My emotions were triggered by how accurately the anime has managed to capture the sadness, grief and loneliness of earthquake victims. The strongest emotion is probably sadness, sadness caused by the loss of someone precious. There are also other strong emotions such as the feelings a person would have felt when reuniting with their family after a disaster. I guess this anime brings forth a message that, in a disaster, it is always important to not lose hope. If the dead can be hopeful and optimistic, we living have a greater reason to not lose hope.

I hope I will get to watch even more anime that are just as good as Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. Very emotional, very realistic and very down to earth.

headstand

2010-12-24T08:15:00.006+08:00

Yesterday I spent the whole day cycling. Cycled along the rest of the North-South line or red line, from woodlands. I left my house at around 8:30 am then went through Jurong Road, Bukit Batok Road and Woodlands Road to reach Woodlands MRT. Took around 2 hours to reach Woodlands. From there I just followed the MRT track. It was quite a straight forward journey that I didn't need to use my map until Bishan when the train tracks went underground. After Bishan, I was cycling with the folded up map on my right hand, trying to look for the right direction or road and to check if I really am going the right direction. I didnt really followed the underground tracks because that will be quite impossible so I went from station to station. Went through the city area, past the Istana, City Hall and Supreme Court, the Cavenagh Bridge, then went to the Marina area to reach Marina Bay station. Since I was there, I also decided to go to Marina Barrage. After that I was on my way home, going by Maxwell Road, Neil Road, Bukit Timah Road, Portsdown Avenue, Portsdown Road and Dover Road which led me to Clementi area from which I can just follow the familiar Green line to get back home. Reached home at 5 pm.

Yesterday was spectacular because I fell down. I must say that most of my accidents happen when I'm in my area, Jurong.. It was probably because I was cycling for such a long distance that my body is running out of strength to focus. What happened was that I went down a ramp near Chinese Garden uncontrollably and my bike crashed into a lamppost. But I continued to stagger towards the drain (which fortunately was away from the road), I think I was trying to stop the bike and accidently applied too much force to the front brake which sends me flying. Flying towards the drain, head first. Funny how things look slow when it happened.. Like a slow-motion effect. So I was falling head first into the concrete drain, my instincts or maybe some automatic reaction made me thrust out my arms to grab the sides of the drain. (By the way, its a V-shaped open drain). I guess doing so kinda slowed down the momentum of the fall, that when my head felt the impact, it didn't hurt that much. Oh by the way, when my head landed on the drain, I probably looked like I was doing a head stand, yeah my feet and legs was up in the air.. After the brief headstand moment, gravity, already played a part in making me do a headstand, made my legs fall down, since they should be touching the ground, not the head. I landed on my back. Kinda surprised that the drain fits me and body really well, to the extent that it felt kind of comfortable to be lying down there.. The drain, was quite new, still white since it was constructed quite recently and not really dirty, but dusty only on the bottom of the drain. I remember seeing an old malay uncle who was cycling witnessing my fall. Immediately I stood up. He asked me "Boleh tak?" which meant whether I'm ok or not. I told him I was ok. Didn't want to worry him. The only injury that I got from the fall was on my palms, they were cut when I was grabbing the sides of the drain. When I got up they were bleeding. I always carried an extra bottle of water so I cleaned the blood and any sand or dust then used plasters. This accident made the journey back home a pain, but at least I now had something to keep me awake and focused during the rest of the journey home.

I landed on my head. I was wearing a cap, which would have prevented any cuts or skin tear on my head. Looking back at this I'll still continue to cycle without a helmet. There has been a debate about whether the bicycle helmet is even beneficial to cyclists. The most protective feature of the human skull is not its thickness but actually its shape. In many cycling head injuries, the one of most dangerous damage occurs when the brain moves too much during an impact and is thrown into the interior wall of the skull. The shape of the skull prevents this since the roundness of skull will cause the skull to slide along the object that is hitting the skull, so the impact will not be transferred to the brain. Because helmets cushion the impact, it doesn't allow the head or skull to slide, so even if the impact is reduced, the force of the impact will still continue to the brain. So while the skull remains undamaged thanks to the helmet, the brain may be squashed by the skull. It is times like this when God's designs show its superiority. So I'm never going to wear a cycling helmet because I know my skull is designed by God to protect what needs to be protected. So no cycling helmet for me. What I do need, are some gloves..

Kidou Senshi Gundam

2010-12-20T16:37:00.008+08:00

Moeagare! moeagare! moeagare, gandamu
(Burn! Burn! Burn, Gundam!)
kimi yo! hashire!
(Hey you! Run!)

Mada ikari ni moeru, toushi ga arunara
(If your anger burns and you still want to fight,)
kyodai na teki wo, uteyo! uteyo! uteyo!
(shoot, shoot, shoot down your enormous enemy)

Seigi no ikari wo, butsukero gandamu
(Strike them down with your righteous fury, Gundam!)
Kidou Senshi Gandamu! Gandamu!
(Mobile Suit Gundam! Gundam!)

This song is the 2009 version of Tobe! Gundam. Performed by the singers of various Gundam series as a tribute for the 30th anniversary of Gundam.

Tobeyo Gundam. A very catchy song. 1979. A long time before I was born. But nevertheless still a good show. I had just finished watching the entire 43 episodes today. Now all that's left is to watch Gundam Zeta and Gundam Double Zeta to complete watching Gundam's Universal Century. Oh wait, there's still Char's counterattack.. Sheesh. While the technology and the effects used are extremely outdated, the storyline is just so good. Furthermore, as a person who's seen other Gundam series, it feels like a must to watch the original. Hahahaha. Now I'm a true Gundam-otaku. I can now read Gundam-san and Gundam-sousei without misunderstanding the manga.

Can't wait for Zeta Gundam. Out of all the early gundam series (before 1990) I think Zeta Gundam is the coolest. I really don't like the design of the Double Zeta Gundam. It looks like a oversized or fat gundam. Everything about it is big. Maybe that's the trend. They think that larger is better. Well, Char Counterattack's Nu Gundam and Sazabi are pretty big and tall mobile suits. So it probably makes sense if the Double Zeta is that big. It will probably never be able to appear graceful. And I really don't get the forehead beam launcher. Looks really stupid. The gundam is so big, can't they put that mega-beam launcher somewhere else? If anything, the Double Zeta, is an expression of toughness. The Zeta, on the other hand, is cool. I like the head design of the Zeta. And also because of the fact that it can transform. I think I have an immense liking to transformable mobile suits, such as the Raider, or Gaia.. But hey, those are from Seed. I also don't like the design of the famous hyaku shiki. The only thing I like about the mobile suit is that Char is piloting it. Other than the pilot, the hyaku shiki looks like a golden GM with extra parts and maybe three times the speed and three times the power and also three times as shiny.

Just started watching a really hot anime called Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girls. Lots of hot samurai girls with really sharp weapons. Aside from the hot normal anime girls that I usually see, I recently realised that Lolicons are quite popular. Well this anime has one. Seitokai Yakuindomo also has one. I think Toradora's Aisaka Taiga can also be considered a lolicon, although I think her character is focused on being a Tsundere. Lolicons, small girls.. I wonder why are they so popular in matured shows..

silkair to sabah

2010-12-19T12:04:00.003+08:00

Went to Sabah the past few days. I must say, the best part of the trip for me is experiencing the cold temperatures of Mount Kinabalu and meeting the stewardesses of Silkair. The rest of what happened during the trip was crap. I was surprised to see Hui Jie, who was a classmate of mine a month ago, and her family going on the same tour. I guess I'm living in a really small world. If I am to go back to Sabah, the only place I would want to go to is up Mount Kinabalu. I should have joined MI Challenge's overseas trip to Mount Kinabalu. I wanted to but I was too busy. My body is used to hot and sunny weather, so I would prefer if I get to experience naturally cold environments. And I would choose to go by Silkair. On the returning flight, I got quite friendly with a really pretty stewardess. You see, I changed my seat my mom, so that she could sit with my younger brother. So when she was giving out the food, the person who was supposed to be sitting on seat 19E was supposed to be a Siti Zaleha, my mom, but I was seated there. Caused a bit of confusion. But eventually it wasn't such a big deal. Forgot her name. But she's got a really attractive and powerful smile. So powerful that my lips and cheek muscles moved on their own whenever she looked at me. And to think that I'm a person who rarely smiles. I guess smiling and getting people to smile is part of the stewardess training. She said "Goodbye Siti!" to me when I left the plane and smiled. She's probably a few years older than me, but she was really pretty and had that killer smile. I can't believe how long I was smiling even after I left the plane.

Blood+

2010-12-11T19:13:00.005+08:00

Went to donate blood today. Cycled to Bloodbank at Outram. Initially I wanted to donate through my right arm, but after careful consideration, I decided to do it through my left arm since my right arm is more important when cycling. Thankfully, there weren't any problems with the donation this time. Previously, on my last donation, a problem occured when I was donating blood through my left arm. The needle made contact with a valve in the vein that it was piercing through. The nurse was unsure and I don't think the needle is supposed to go through the valve, and if it did, it should be painful since the nurse told me that there are nerves in the valves. So as I sat on the long chair, the nurse went to the stafff nurse, staff nurse looked at me, said it was problematic and went to the doctor. I was worried. The blood of course, continued to pour itself into the blood bag but then when the staff nurse took a look at it, she told me that my blood was clotting for some reason, and could not use my bag of blood. I was disappointed since I was really looking forward to donating blood at the Bloodbank. The doctor, staff nurse and the nurse which attended to me apologized, though the nurse apologized a lot more frequently. I didn't mind. These things do happen. Besides, the nurse which attended to me was really cute. The incident with the valve in my vein enabled me to talk to her, which doesn't happen often since nurses are always busy and running from donor to donor. I'm quite happy to have received quite a lot of attention from her. I think she was still in training back then, but I'm glad that she tried her very best.

I didn't see the same nurse today. I hope that the incident did not discourage the nurse from continuing nursing in the bloodbank services. Anyway, I was quite worried just now that the incident will occur again since I wanted to do it on my left arm. Glad that there weren't any problems.

One thing I noticed from today's blood donation is that I am not very affected by that fact that there's lesser blood in my body or a large needle has gone into my vein. I was still able to cycle home, although my legs do feel a little tired in the first few kilometres. My left arm felt as if it had not been pierce by the large needle. I had not felt any pain from it, even when carrying heavy things with only my left hand. I was probably able to cycle back home since I made preparations for it. I brought along with me three bottles of water when I left home. When I reached the Bloodbank I drank a bottle. After the donation, I drank the remaining two. I hope this means that my tolerance to the lack of blood due to blood donation is improving and that this will allow me to make more blood donations per year. The next time that I can donate blood is 3rd March 2011 although I probably won't be able to do so since I'm having my national service. Oh yes, I already got my enlistment letter. Going in on the day before my birthday. Going to Tekong.

I want to start watching Blood+. Should do a schedule for anime watching.

By the way, my blood type is B+.

Tuas to Changi in a little more than 6 hours

2010-12-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

42.195km. A distance quite close to the length of the tiny island-state. Man, I am never going to run in a full marathon ever again, unless the army, police or the government makes me. I was happily running without any trouble in the first ten kilometres. I was happily overtaking people with Dave, who I ran with for quite some time. That feeling caused me to wonder if I would have been more satisfied if i was to run in the 10k instead of the full marathon. I'm pretty sure I'm able to run 10k without stopping or walking. But a full marathon? Upon completing the race, after crossing the finish line, I was feeling relieved as well as the feeling of "I've finally done it, now I know how it feels like so I'm never going to do it again". I know I that I tend to go to great lengths to do stupid things, but I guess the race taught me that if I am willing to place a limit on my levels of stupidity, I should be able to live a bit longer. Talking about life and death, I always felt like dying before and during the race. It's really not the feeling of dying but the feeling of the heart in pain, as if it was bursting or being squeezed. But still, those might just be the symptoms of a fatal condition. These heart pains caused me to be extra careful during the marathon. I've heard of stories of people, physically fit people, dying of a heart problem while running marathons. So as a precaution, I'd stop running whenever the pain goes too high and start walking. Like I said before, only the first 10 kilometres are fun for me. Immediately after those 10 kilometres, my stomach began to act up. Stomach discomfort caused me to slow down to a jog, down to a slow jog and finally I was walking. When I was walking, I also noticed that my heart pains are making their presence felt; I was enjoying myself earlier to not be able to feel any heart pains. Even with these persisting problems, I still decided to press on. around the 17th kilometre, I decided to give in to my stomach and went to the toilet. I felt so relieved when I was done. The stomach discomfort gone, I was able to run for some distance before slowing down due to my heart. After the halfway point, I did a mixture of sprint and walk and managed to catch up with Dave. Then I met with another problem: cramps in my legs due to the build up of lactic acid. That was when I started to use the tiger balm pain relievers. Looking back, I'm kind of proud that I was able to survive this far without any pain relievers. But then again, I could definitely do better if I had trained sufficiently. Dave accompanied me until the 30th kilometre where he decided to run ahead. I didn't walk all the way to the finish line. I continued to run and jog and walk. Those pain relievers were a great help. The last time I used them was when I was next to the F1 building, around 2km left. Even with the pain relievers, the pain still persisted, I remembered while running, a cramp caused my left foot to bend outwards. When that happened, it felt so awkward. The feeling of your body not following your command. I mean it's natural to feel pain or not getting your bady to move when you want to because you're tired. But to have your body move by itself. I was quite shocked. The pain reliever probably caused me to not feel any pain during my left foot's rebellion, which made it more awkward. As I speed up to the finish line felt cramps on both calves. As I crossed the finish line, I told myself "There better be a size S shirt left". And thankfully there still is. When I was about to get my shirt, size M shirts ran out. But it really didnt matter since I wanted S. Then I went to get my baggage, which was kept in the F1 building. From the Padang to the F1 building, I was walking like an old man. Abrasions to my groin area caused me to walk a bit bowlegged. Met up with Soon Kee, who finished the race before me. Dave had gone home, probably with his girlfriend. Waited for Yuan Sheng and his friend. Talked about the race. Met Yuan Sheng and his friend. Went home by train. Walked home from the interchange. Bought a newspaper along the way. I slept on the train. But I slept standing. Glad to know that my legs are still able to support me after all that torture.

My heart's feeling a lot better now. No more heart pains although my muscles are still aching. Thankfully this time, my joints aren't affected or injured by the marathon. For all I know, maybe these heart pains were caused by my own fear and anxiety.

Finished with K-On! and Darker than Black. Currently watching Neon Genesie Evangelion and Gundam.

hopelessly in love

2010-12-03T22:21:00.002+08:00

Just finished watching the anime version of Skip Beat!. I remembered watching the anime when it aired on central but was not able to see most of the episodes. But I was so satisfied with what I saw that I've always wanted to see the whole series. And now I've done that. Skip Beat! is a great series. Not only does it shows how showbiz is like, but it also explores human emotions deeply. The two main characters of the story, Kyoko and Tsuruga Ren, are hopeless when it comes to love. Kyoko can't seem to feel love due to her hateful past experience with love. Tsuruga on the other hand has never felt what love really is like, which becomes an obstacle in his acting career.

The anime ends off with Tsuruga finding the strength and resolve to overcome his acting dillema and accepting the fact that he is in love, with Kyoko. And that is all. I didnt get to see Tsuruga conveying his love to Kyoko in the 25 episodes. Nor did I get to see Kyoko realising that the person who Tsuruga is in love in is actually her. And there's also Fuwa Sho, Kyoko's ex, the reason for Kyoko's hatred towards love and also the reason why Kyoko entered showbiz, which is for revenge. Fuwa showed signs that he still has feelings for Kyoko, which hints that there will be conflict between the leading male characters of the Skip Beat! as well as conflict within Kyoko since Fuwa and Tsuruga are probably the two of most important men in her life. Well that's how I felt. But still, there's so many scenes to look forward to in Skip Beat!

Anyway, I wish that there will be a second season. My love with the anime version of Skip Beat has got me thinking that maybe I should read the original manga since I want to find out more. Between the anime and manga, I prefer the anime, because I think I like how the characters are drawn. The ones from anime are a mixture of pretty and cute unlike the ones from the manga that are too pretty. I haven't read the manga, only looked at some of the pages of the manga. I noticed that the characters in the original art are drawn very differently than in the anime; they have sharper features and you can see many strands of line representing individual pieces of hair. You can tell alot of detail goes into the hair. In most of the anime and manga artwork that I've seen, the hair is usually just a single shape that is of random shape to suggest hairstyle.

Well, the artwork aside, the story that was covered in the anime should still be the same as in the original manga. I should read the original manga version, which is still ongoing, and maybe in doing so I will fall in love with the artwork of the original manga.

No more A levels for me. Marathon in the next two days. Not ready for it. Also thinking of going overseas, who knows where, with classmates next year.

slow; nothing is faster than slow

2010-12-01T23:33:00.003+08:00

After such a long wait, I finally got a letter addressed to me in the post box. Unfortunately, it is not the Enlistment letter that I have been waiting for. On the bright side, at least I now know that the good men and women in Singapore Post have not forgotten about me. The letter was actually the race certificate for the New Balance Run which I participated a few months ago. It was in October. My timing really sucked. 1 hour 45 minutes. I also expected myself getting a timing like that on the day of the race. After all I seen to be on a losing streak in everything. I remember two years ago, I ran the same 15 km race and my timing was so much better at 1 hour 26 minutes. Even Mr Azman, a proud supporter of the race, was amazed at my timing. Haha, that was way back when I was focused only on track and looked up to Mr Azman. I guess I'm such a loser nowadays. Should just wear a shirt that says "LOSER" on it. I don't mind. I feel that I sort of deserve it. Maybe it is my perspective of what "cool" should be for me.

Watching anime all day long. I seem to be using some Japanese words and phrases in my thoughts. Sometimes I sing along when the opening and closing themes play. Currently watching 4 pieces of anime. Three of the anime, Darker than Black, Skip Beat! and K-On!, are nearly finished. Probably finish watching one or two tomorrow.

Tomorrow is also the day of my last paper. Also the last day of my wasted three years in MI. Hopefully I will change after tomorrow. I applied to be a relief teacher online, hoping to be a relief teacher before I get called up for my national service, which I am unsure when. Either way, I need a way to burn time, and possibly make some money in the process. Hopefully my application is successful and that I can go back to my secondary school that I am familar with.

sigh

2010-11-30T01:58:00.002+08:00

Visited facebook. Deleted the posts that are on my "wall" one by one. Gave me a reason to reflect on this year and last year. I started my facebook account early last year (2009). A girl named Azura told me to get one. Hmm, I used to be crazy about her. A really cute person. She was one of the first people I added. Also added another girl who I was crazy about during my early days in Facebook; Catharina. She's the reason why I insisted on calling the character in Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew and Auburn's Proof, as Catherine/Katherine, as opposed to Catherina/Katherina. I wondered why I did that. Was it to make her and her name special to me? Or maybe I just don't want to think much about Catharina in literature lessons. Oh how I miss the Cat I used to know. I got through literature lessons all because she helped me. When she left I was kinda shattered, a bit maybe. Well that was in the past. My Facebook wall is empty now. And so is my mind and any hope for the future.

I'm still waiting for my Enlistment Letter. I wonder if it will ever come. All this waiting is making me mad. I keep thinking that they have forgotten about me or lost my records somewhere. I'm fine if I do not have to serve national service but damn, I just want them to tell me something. I'm tired of getting the same notice that tells me that the Enlistment letter will be sent 2 monts before my actual enlistment. I'm afraid that they have forgotten about me, only to later find out about me by which it may have already been too late. After which they will want to blame me and send me to prison for not following the Enlistment Act which is part of the Singaporean Law. If that ever happens, I say throw me to prison. I don't mind going to prison for this. If they say I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Arguing with the superior authority only leads to further trouble. For all I know, prison might make me a better person. A more sociable, well-mannered person, through harsh living conditions.

the moment I saw her grab the door handle I knew I was doomed

2010-11-24T20:58:00.002+08:00

Went to school today to collect my race pack for the Standard Chart Marathon. Arrived at around 12.40 pm. I must say that my timing was really bad. Apparently a staff meeting just ended the moment I parked my bicycle in school. I was inside the general office, checking the contents of my race pack and then made my way towards the exit. As I walked towards the glass door, I saw on the other side three senior female teachers also, headed for the door. I was about to pull the door open, but then I realised that the sign on the door said "PUSH". I was stunned for a moment and when I saw her grab the door handle I knew I was doomed. The senior teacher that opened the door and as well as the general paper teacher paid no attention to me. However, the third teacher, who happened to be the Pre-U1 head, I think, saw me, and told me I should have opened the door for them. Maybe she remembered that I used to be somebody or she expects every male person to open doors for ladies, but my reply to her was that "I thought it was a 'Pull' door".. With a possibly sarcastic tone, she ended the conversation by saying "After so many years?" To be honest, I am not a frequent visitor of the General Office, and even if I do, I wouldn't have remembered how the doors swing. It's always a 50-50 gamble when you open glass doors.

There are deserts in Singapore

2010-11-21T19:30:00.006+08:00

Today out of boredom and also due to the long hiatus from exercise, I decided to cycle. It was in the afternoon. I cycled to the Southernmost point of mainland Singapore, and that will be somewhere in Tuas South Extension, to be exact, Tuas South Avenue 16. Super lonely place. I'm surprised to see that land reclaimation works are still going on. Quite an empty place, very few factories are built here. On empty and vast plots of land, there are no trees but small and sandy plants. Not even bushes. Maybe there will be bushes in a few years time, but as of now, it really looks empty.

And it is really sandy on those empty plots of land. It's not the type of sand that you'll encounter on the beach along the shoreline, but it's kind of like sand that you'll find in deserts. No soil or earth. Just sand. It's also strange that it isn't dusty. Well it is man-made. Tuas South is land that is reclaimed from the sea. The lack of dust is quite the strange experience. I was expecting a lot of dust to accumulate in my gears and chains, but I guess it's because of the uluness of the area. Not many people goes there, so the sand that was poured on top of the reclaimed land has not been stepped or walked on enough to create an erosive effect on the sand that will create dust.

Anyway, it was really fun to cycle on the sand. A bit of off-road action for me and my bicycle. Got to use my lowest gears. It was really tough in the beginning, since there's hardly any grip and traction by my tyres, due to the shifting loose sand, and also partly due to my worn out tyres. But eventually I got used to it. A really bouncy ride as I run over the small plants that grow on the sandy landscape. These plants also produce nasty seeds that are covered and really sharp and prickly hairs that stick to your clothes and shoes. I was wearing bermudas, so those seeds only got stuck to my running shoes which I wore.

Saw some people flying kites and radio-controlled planes in the area. Tuas South is one area in singapore where you probably won't find any Malays. Indian or Bangladeshi workers are plenty. So are their Chinese employers or counterparts. Other foreigners, like Europeans and Americans will also be there, since they set up there factories in that area. But no Malays. A Malayless land. I feel like a foreigner there.

Only drank a bottle of water once, so it's not so far from where I live. Took around 1 or 2 hours to get to Tuas South Avenue 16. Thinking of cycling along Mandai Road one of these days to get to Yishun and Lower Seletar Reservoir.

11 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

Gihren's Assasination Attempt

2010-11-20T23:47:00.003+08:00

The year when the One-year War ended. Just finished a great work of manga. Kidou Senshi Gundam : Gihren Ansatsu Keikaku (Mobile Suit Gundam : Gihren's Assasination Attempt). While most of the stories about the One-year War came from the battlefield, this manga is unique as it sheds light on the events within the Space Colony Side 3, also known as the capital of Zeon.

As fighting occured between the forces of the Earth Federation and the Principality of Zeon in outer space, a rebellion within Side 3 is brewing, with the intention of assasinating Gihren Zabi, the commander of Zeon forces. On top of that, there was also an intense sibling rivalry between Gihren and his sister, Kycilia Zabi, which has led to the splitting of Zeon force into two different factions The war was in its closing stages. Zeon forces had retreated from Earth and had already lost Solomon, an important military outpost, which left a huge gap in Zeon's defense against the Federation forces. With only Zeon's space fortress A Bao Qu left to defend the homeland, Side 3, the remaining Zeon forces are gathered there to fight the final battle against the Earth Federation. The situation seems pretty bleak for the Principality of Zeon.

The manga focuses on the work of Leopold Fieseler, an investigator in the Public Safety Department, which is kind of like the FBI of Zeon. While investigating a series of bombing plots, he discovered the plot to assasinate Gihren Zabi and found out about the darkness that is the essence of the Principality. The manga ends with Leo ending the chaos that occured within Side 3, in time to restore political stability to Zeon as the Federation forces closes in on Side 3 after the battle of A Bao Qu ended in their victory. Thankfully for Zeon, negotiations and talks on the Moon between diplomats from Zeon and the Federation were successful and Zeon was allowed autonomy by the Federation.

Really like this manga. Nice storyline. Since the story is linked to stuff like politics and administrative stuff, I wasn't expecting any mobile suit action from this gundam manga. But there was, and the good thing is there was an exciting fight between mobile suits that occured during the rebellion of the Capital Defense Battalion. The zakus fielded by the capital defense forces looked really cool as they wore a helmet that is similar to the helmets worn by german forces in ww2.

I also liked the character design. Cecilia Irene, who played a leading role in the storyline was a lot more prettier than the one that was shown in Mobile Suit Gundam. She has sharper features that makes her look like a really hot and good looking woman in her late twenties. One will get envious of Gihren when looking at this portrayal of Cecilia since Cecilia is Gihren's personal secretary. Hehe, whenever she appears on a page, I tend to spend more time on that page because I will be analysing her looks. Cecilia might just be Gihren's secretary, but she holds a lot of power in the manga, taking care of things in Zeon while Gihren is away and also controlling Zeon's elite guard. She is probably also romantically involved with Gihren since she was devastated to know about Gihren's death.

Another female character, Elise, a young member of the elite guard and a childhood friend of Leo, was also drawn nicely, but with bigger eyes, that are typical of manga and anime characters. I kept wondering if the manga will show any romance between Leo and Elise. Elise had feelings for Leo and told him about them as the story was about to end. Leo, being her childhood friend, saw her as his sister, unfortunately, for Elise, and for me, who thinks that a bit of romance between the two characters could have made the manga a bit nicer. Everytime I saw the two characters together, I wonder if any progress between them. Elise is the only character in the manga with rounded eyes and a round face, that shows her youth and contributes to her cute looks. In comparison, the other characters have less rounded, smaller, narrow eyes that gives a more serious and refined look. However this is also the same type of eyes that makes Cecilia so pretty. Hmm Cecilia seems to have a nice body and bust. I guess I will always admire women in uniform. Especially if they are good looking.. Hmm women in uniform fetish?

Talking about uniforms, another thing I kept an eye for is Zeon Uniforms. Since this is a Manga about Zeon and the administration in the capital, got to see a lot of Zeon uniforms and ranks. I always have this fascination towards gundam uniforms and their designs.

At this point my eyes are beginning to hurt. Got to go to sleep soon. I wonder if I'll dream of Cecilia Irene or anything to do with Gundam. Haha it seems that I only spoke of Gundam in this post. Well I was kind of enchanted by this gundam manga and it is currently the only thing I'm thinking of right now.

12 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

Red Bean Potong Ice Cream

2010-11-18T16:54:00.002+08:00

I enjoy eating red bean potong ice cream. Probably my favourite ice cream flavour. I know I'm really pessimistic recently, but I still have things to look forward to. Things I want to do no matter how bad or dull my present and future is. I guess that is one of the things that has kept me going. I hope I get to try out this recipe one day. That will be day when I'm friendly with the kitchen and have adequate kitchen skills. Currently, everytime I fry an egg, I get a piece of extreme abstract art. I don't know what happened to the recognizable yellow-circle-on-a-white-circle fried egg that I'm supposed to get. I don't even know how to cook rice. Pretty pathetic huh?

Homemade Potong Ice Cream, Red Bean flavour
Serves 10

Ingredients:
-200g red beans
-150g plus 120g sugar
-1.5 tablespoons of cornflour
-3 tablespoons of water
-125ml fresh milk
-180ml coconut milk
-1.5 tablespoons of condensed milk

1. Rinse red beans and place in saucepan. Add enough water so that the beans are covered and cook until red beans soften.
2. Add 150 grams sugar and stir to dissolve. Turn off heat and set aside for later use in the recipe.
3. In another saucepan, blend cornflour with 3 tablespoons of water and cook until the mixture thickens.
4. Remove from heat, add remaining sugar (120g) and stir. Return saucepan to heat.
5. Add fresh milk, coconut milk and condensed milk. Increas the heat and cook until the mixture thickens. If the mixture becomes a little starchy and hard, just lift the saucepan off the heat. Be very careful not to overcook.
6. Stir in the red beans and mix well.
7. Pour ice cream mixture into ice cream moulds.
8. Place in a freezer until ice cream set and hardens. Enjoy!

taken from: http://www.nichetopics.info/potong-ice-cream.html

Other than cooking, there are also other stuff and activities in life that I'm looking forward to. I've so far I've only done one of them. And that is to cycle from one end of Singapore to another. I did this a few weeks ago, before A levels. Possibly during or after Prelim exams. The westernmost point in Singapore that I've been to on bike is Raffles Marina, the site of my graduation tea. Don't be fooled by its name. It's actually located right next to Tuas Checkpoint. Although Tuas Check point isn't really the most westernmost point in Singapore (that place would be some where in Tuas South Extension, which of course I will cycle there one fine day) it is near the line what people would measure if they are to measure the lateral length of Singapore. The other end of Singapore that I cycled to is Changi. Found lots of stuff there. Discovered where Old Changi Hospital is. It was daytime so it didnt look scary. The area was surrounded by Government Chalets. I even met with someone who I thought was a family member of some important minister or government official. Apparently she was trying to get to Fairy Point Hill. I had a map with me but wasn't of much help.

Hmm. Now I remembered that I the day that I cycle to Raffles Marina was a few days before Graduation Tea. No, two days, on a Monday. Yep, now I remember it cleary. I planned to go to school on that day, but decided against it as I was cycling to school. So on that day I cycled in my school T-shirt and trousers. It was really hot that day. By the way, my cycling trip to the West and to the East was held on different days. Even so, the number of days between the two cycling trips weren't that much. I remember that on my cycling trip to the East, it took me 3 hours to reach westernmost part of East Coast Park. Then it took me another 2 hours to reach Changi Jetty. Five hours of non-stop cycling. I remembered that I didnt stop or take any breaks from my home all the way to Changi. Before I left, I ate a breakfast that consisted of 6 slices of bread and a glass of apple juice and some water. I only drank water when I cycled. As I was about to reach Changi, my stomach was growling so much that it hurts. I could only drink water to relieve my hunger. When I did stop for a break in Changi, the only stuff I consumed was a Snickers bar and a can of Milo. I was surprised that it was able to sustain me until I arrived home.
I wasn't planning on going home yet initially since I wanted to cycle around the island. So from changi I went to pasir ris and then to bedok. I was planning to go to punggol then toa payoh, or somewhere on the northern coastline. But when I reached Pasir ris, I realised that it will probably take too long and I will end up reaching home really late, possilbly around 10 or 11pm. so instead of going northwards from bedok i went westwards to geylang to town to pasir panjang and all the way home. arrived home at 7pm sharp. I think I woke up the next morning with aching legs.

That was one of the things that I had wanted to do. There are more. As for cycling, there are still some places I still want to cycle to, especially the North. I've only reached Woodlands. Hoping to go deeper into the north one day.
Aside from cycling, I'm also thinking of making clothes. But the clothes I have in mind are kind of like cosplay stuff. I'm thinking of making a ZAFT or Zeon uniform. Maybe not the actual uniform but something that resembles it. Maybe I'll have it made into a jacket or overclothing wear. I really admire uniforms from that come from anime. Especially uniforms from the gundam franchise. I think I know their uniform too well. Be it Earth Federation or Earth Alliance, ZAFT or Zeon, I like them all, although I tend to lean towards ZAFT and Zeon since their uniforms are so unconventional. But I also like how the uniforms of the Earth Federation and Earth Alliance have conventional and classic designs despite the futuristic theme of Gundam. Between the Federation and the Alliance, the uniforms Gundam Seed's Earth Alliance have a more modern look.

I wonder when shall I start with my sewing project. It is going to involve doing making measurements and doing research on how to sew clothes.

Hmm, maybe I really should not have taken A levels.

14 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

toyota comfort

2010-11-16T22:48:00.006+08:00

Checked wikipedia. Turns out that the humble taxi that drives around singapore is not Toyota Crown, but it is actually Toyota Comfort or also known as Toyota Crown Comfort. The Toyota Comfort is a Toyota Crown that is modified to fulfil its intended role as a taxicab. The original Toyota Crown is actually a luxury car. Modifications would include the usage of less bulky all-plastic parts with simple designs that done to reduce unnecessary cost, weight and increase interior space with emphasis on rear cabin space. In order to reduce maintenance costs, simple mechanical designd are used such as live axle rear suspension. The Toyota Comfort is the most popular taxicab in Japan, Singapore and Hong Kong.

4-door notchback mid-size car. Front-engine-Rear-drive (FR) layout (definitely can drift). 2.0 litre engine. 5 speed manual transmission. Is this car my future?

If I'm going to be a cab driver, which I believe is what I want and what I can possibly do (since my A levels is screwed), I hope this humble and classic taxicab will still be available for me to drive the moment I can drive.

But I think it is more important that I learn to drive first and get my drivers licese. Better get a license to drive manual cars since the Toyota Comforts in Singapore are all manual. I wonder how much does it cost in total to earn a license. And the duration also. Got to try my best to get my driving license. Ganbatte! I can't be bad in everything.

I was just reading the comments on my comments box. Have not seen any relevant comments for years. The comments box, or cbox, goes way back, from the very moment Aqeel kept pestering to have a cbox on my blog, which took me quite a while to figure out how to do so. Eventually I did and since then lot of really nice people have posted comments on this blog. I guess that was during the time when i wasn't such a jerk and an idiot. But now things are different. I'm probably the only person I know who reads and write blogs. And I don't seem to talk a lot these days. I was referring to actual speech, talking, to people, not just myself. It seems that the only person I'm talking to these days is myself. And since I'm the only one reading this blog that I wrote also shows how I'm also talking to myself. I deserved it. I'm not a nice person. Bad people should not go and disturb the lives of good people. Should stay away from good people to avoid the spread of my contagious evil. A loner's life. Should get used to this and believe me, I am trying to.

I hope the earnings of a taxi driver is enough to support 3 adults. Mom, Dad and me. My siblings can take care of themselves since they will probably have important jobs and will be taking care of their own families. I just have to take care of Mom and Dad. No need to get married. Don't even plan to. It'll be a heavy burden and burdens are things that I am not good with. A simple life as far as possible.

16 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

The face on my IC

2010-11-15T22:32:00.007+08:00

The face on my IC looks angry and mad whenever I look at it. Well it should be.

After watching two, no, THREE pretty long gundam series back to back (49 episodes of Gundam SEED, 50 episodes of Turn A Gundam & 39 episodes of Gundam X) decided to switch to something else so as to avoid myself from going gundam crazy. I know I am already gundam crazy, I just don't want to worsen it. Sometimes I suddenly feel like jumping into a mobile suit and taking off, "Hashin!" The next Gundam series I'll watch will either be Seed Destiny Special Edition or Mobile Suit Gundam. Should download more gundam like G Gundam, Victory Gundam and Gundam Wing. But let's take a break from gundam for now.

The anime that I've decided to watch for now is the second season of K-On! I really like this anime. Not only does it show innocent and cute girls, but more importantly, music plays a very important role in this anime. And I'm not just talking about the opening and ending themes. Although I must admit that i really like their opening and ending themes. Very fast and upbeat music sang by really cute voices. I really like their songs, performed by the seiyus of the main characters in the anime. Together the main characters of the anime form a band called Ho-Kago Tea Time or translated - Afternoon Tea Time. It reminds me a bit of the time when I was in the band. And I recall I was even more useless than the Yui, the lead singer of Ho-Kago Tea Time. I couldnt even play an instrument and suck at singing.. Oh well. K-On is a great anime. I really enjoyed the first season. Looking forward to watching the second season. As I'm typing this out I'm listening to some of their songs. The song I'm currently listening to is called "My Love Is Like A Stapler". Cute title right?

To me, there is a triangular relationship between me, anime and music, japanese music, that is. By watching anime, I get introduced to great japanese music, both their songs and their singers and bands. D.Gray-man, my first serious anime introduced me to Abingdon Boys School. As I search for more japanese music, I also get introduced to great anime. K-On! is an example of an anime that I discovered when I was looking for music. Abingdon Boys School, and their lead singer, who also performs as a solo artist, TM Revolution, also contributes their music towards great anime, some of which I recently found. Being a gundam fan, I also have alot of the music that has been used by the gundam franchise, especially for opening and ending themes of the gundam series. I know so much gundam music, it's kind of hard to pick my favourite.

I had also gotten my hands on a really great game recently. It's called Audiosurf. Enables you to play games with your songs. Its kind of like Guitar Hero or Rock Band. I think I'm a bit addicted to it right now. I can't be fully addicted to it since I still have my love for anime. I think the best thing about this game is that I get to challenge the songs that I have with me in certain games. So far the olny game I've played on Audiosurf is Mono Pro, in which I have to dodge grey blocks and collect as much colored blocks as possible. The faster and more upbeat the song is, the harder the game becomes. From playing Audiosurf, I got to find out that I seem to prefer really fast songs, but there I also do have some songs that have a slower and more relaxed tempo.

I have not been exercising. I used to exercise regularly, everyday during the evenings. I will start by running for half an hour but following the pace of my usual 2.4km run. In half an hour I would have definitely covered 5km. maybe 6km or slighty more. Then I would go on to do pull-ups. No problem doing 20 after half hour run. The problem is how much more can I do after reaching 20 pull-ups. Then some crunches and bridge. Then jog home. Run up the stairs. 30 push-ups immediately after running up stairs. I'll always be breathing heavily after I did the stairs, so there's a need to control my breathing as I do my push-ups. Go down, breathe out. Push up, breathe in. Repeat 30 times. Then stretch at home. Exercise done. Take a shower. Compared to the pre-NAPFA P.E lessons, I think the amount of work done is similar. However, this is nothing when compared to the Track and Field Training I used to have. Not talking about the long runs. I'm talking about the intervals running hell. You don't know how many rounds you're supposed to run so you just kept pushing and pushing yourself. As much as I dread those experiences, I sort of miss them. I should come back to school to train with my track team every now and then.

I did said that I haven't been exercising right? Well it's not because of the anime or Audiosurf. It's National Service. Up till now, i have not gotten my enlistment letter. This is a sure sign that I'm not entering the Army or Police or my NS. Looks my biggest fears have come tue. I probably will be doing my NS in the Civil Defence, which I initially do not want. I guess I can't be helped. But still, can't the Ministry of Defence just send me my enlistment letter already? There really is no need to rub it in anymore. Hooray.. Going to CD.. Hope you bastards are happy. Must be because I'm stupid. Anyway, I feel really sad that the bloody Army or Police did not send me their Enlistment letter. It's probably too late to expect one anyway. And this has demoralised me. So much so that I really don't feel like exercising anymore. I should just learn how to drive and drive a Taxi. End of story.

And now let's talk about A levels. Out of all my papers that I have sat for, Literature in English paper 1 will probably receive the worse results. Should I feel disappointed? I guess It's way too late for that. I should just look towards the future. Tell myself that I never was good enough to take on A levels. Yet I am stubborn, but mostly stupid. I hope that I will get to drive a Toyota Crown. I always love the friendly engine noise that the engine makes and the manual transmission. I never did like newer car designs. I prefer car designs of the 80s-90s. Maybe because I was born during that period.

17 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

No more Newtypes

2010-11-13T13:46:00.011+08:00

Just finished completing Gundam X. The war in Gundam X ended in a ceasefire between Earth and the Colonies, pretty much like Gundam Seed. Apparently the war in Gundam X was started due a special group of people called Newtypes, which are a recurring feature in Gundam productions. Since the very first series, Mobile Suit Gundam, Newtypes have played important roles in the storyline of many Gundam series, but not all, even in some Universal Century series lacked Newtypes. Newtypes are absent in 08th MS Team, 0080: War in the Pocket and Turn A Gundam (looking at all the Gundam Series I've seen up till now). Gundam X was the first series I've seen in which the existence of Newtypes were known to most of the characters. Newtypes were also present in Gundam Seed, but only in characters such as Rau le Crueset, Mu La Flaga and their respective clones and nobody in the storyline seemed to know much about their Newtype ability.
Anyway, this post is titled "No more Newtypes". To me, that would summarise the ending of Gundam X. The series shows different definitions of the term "Newtype". The Colonies, people living in space as well as their military the Rebellion Forces, defines Newtypes as evolved humans that have advanced senses and special abilities due to living in outer space and everyone who lives in space will eventually become a Newtype. The New Earth Federation sees Newtypes as people with abilities that should be put into proper use for purposes such as fighting wars since their abilities will give them an advantage over normal soldiers. Either way, there is a great curiosity towards Newtypes. Both sides, the Colonies and the New Federation tried to acquire Newtypes. But has anyone even thought about what the Newtypes felt? Apparently not. Newtypes were used by both sides in the previous war to the extent that they were treated as tools. The previous war was ended by Newtypes, but it sowed the seeds of a new war since many people died due dropping of space colonies on earth. As such there was a intense hatred towards Newtypes, especially among the people of earth along with the continued fear and hatred that had existed between the people living who are living in earth and the people who are living in space since the previous war.
The war between the New Federation and the Colonies was put to an end by a group that was neither allied with the New Federation or the Colonies, similar to the Three Ships Alliance in Gundam Seed. Going back to the title (which I seemed to have forgotten in the previous paragraph), the group went to the moon to discover the true meaning of Newtypes. There they met with the First Newtype, or rather the mind of the First Newtype, since the body has died off. The First Newtype revealed that Newtypes are nothing but an illusion. When people discovered the First Newtype, they were so amazed by his abilities that they became obsessed with such gifted people. This led to birth of the term "Newtype", a label for such people and led to the endless pursit towards the understanding of the phenomenon of people with abilities. The term "Newtype" or "Newtypism" is just an extreme view of those people and their abilities. It is similar to the racist slurs and stereotypes that we are familiar with, such as nigger, white devil (referring to caucasians, not gundam), nerds and many others that causes us to perceive people differently from who they truly are.
The war in Gundam X was to certain extent caused by Newtypes so the First Newtype advises the group to denounce the term "Newtype" since the age of searching for Newtypes is over. Newtypes are not needed to create the future even when Newtypes have the ability see the future. Like the existence of Newtype themselves, the visions and prophesies of the future that Newtypes are able to see are also an illusion as long as no effort is made to achieve the prophesised future. The future is not created by Newtypes, but by the strong will of individuals. With that, the group denounces the term, "Newtype" and went on to stop the war.
The gundam world probably denounced Newtypism since Newtypes or Newtypism were not present in Turn A Gundam, which was occured after the events in Gundam X and other Gundam series preceeding Gundam X. Turn A Gundam was also released after Gundam X by Sunrise, the company that created the Gundam franchise.

Gundam X is a great series. 39 episodes, not so long or draggy. Most of the storyline is spent on Earth. Similar to Mobile Suit Gundam and Gundam Seed in the way that the main protagonist, Garrod Ran, was forced by the circumstances to operate and pilot the Gundam. Not many characters died in the storyline. Even the antagonists, the Frost brothers weren't killed. They somehow survived the final battle against Garrod and seemed to have realised the errors of their ways.

The mobile suits of Gundam X are quite interesting. The design for the grunt units seemed to be based on the GM and the Zaku of Universal Century, with some changes to the looks of mobile suits, but they still perform the same function. Mobile Suits, especially the gundams that were used by the protagonists, are actually remnants of the previous war instead of the newly made mobile suits with the latest technology. Since they are outdated the gundams receive upgrades as the story progresses.
I like the design of the protagonist's first gundam, which is known as Gundam X or GX. I like how much white there is on this gundam. The only thing that isn't white on the GX is the upper body. Shoulders, lower body, legs, arms, satellite cannon are white. Gold on v-fin and the v-fin crest. I also like how the GX's satellite cannons are shaped like a "L" when they are not deployed. Compared to other Gundam series in which the protagonists change their gundams at the climax of the story, Gundam X starts off with a really powerful gundam. When the Garrod first entered the cockpit of the GX, it was armed with a satellite cannon, a powerful superweapon that could wipe out enemies in a single shot. The weapon was so powerful that the protagonists tried to avoid using the weapon as far as possible. The GX was later converted into the GX-Divider which was less destructive than the original GX, but that was desired since the protagonists did not want to cause so much unnecessary deaths. In a way it is like a Gundam Seed in which Kira starts off with the Freedom Gundam but then switches to the weaker Strike Gundam because the Freedom is killing too many people with its destructive weaponry.
The successor of the GX is the Gundam Double X, an improvement of the GX. Other than having two satellite cannons instead of one, the Double X seem to have improve in other aspects such as agility compared to the original GX. However, I think the Double X is uglier compared to the GX. It looks bulkier and box-like and it makes the GX look slender and even nicer to look at. It's armament is simlar to the original GX, only that it is twice as destructive and is able to fire the satellite cannon at a faster rate. But compared to other gundams from other series, the Double X is quite ok to me.
Not like the Gundam Seed Destiny's Strike Freedom, which I find to be too perfect, as if there it has no weakenesses. I just prefer some realism. I'm ok with the Infinite Justice, Destiny, Legend and the original Freedom, but the Strike Freedom is just too perfect. As for the Double X, it displays way more realism than the Strike Freedom. Since the protagonist doesn't like to use the Double X's main weapon, the Double X is just limited to its beam rifle and beam sabers and machine guns and melee punches and kicks. On top of that, the pilot, Garrod is an amateur. Even though he does improve throughout the story, he still sucks (realistically) and has a nasty habit of getting his beam rifle destroyed by enemy units (even by grunts) which then limits him to close range combat. I almost laugh whenever the gundam's beam rifle destroyed because I see it occur way too often. But I have to admit, close range combat with beam sabers are alot more thrilling to watch depending on the circumstances of the battle.
The other two gundams used by the protagonists are also worth looking at. There's the Leopard Gundam, piloted by Roybea, which is very similar to Heavyarms Gundam of Gundam Wing. Both seem to prefer bullets and missiles over beam weaponry as well as the presence of breast/chest gatling machine guns, although the Leopard does have a beam dagger and seems bulkier than the Heavyarms. The Airmaster Gundam, piloted by Witz, is a transformable mobile suit that could transform into a fighter mobile armour, similar to Gundam Seed's Murusame, for better agility and speed. It doesn't seem to have any beam sabers, but is armed with two beam rifles. The antagonists uses two gundams. Gundam Ashtaron, piloted by Olba Frost, reminds me of Seed's Forbidden Gundam, only that the Ashtaron has claws instead of shields. Other than the fact that it can also transform into a mobile armour like the Airmaster, the Ashtaron seems like a normal gundam. Gundam Virsago, piloted by Shagia Frost, is one really weird gundam. It has the ability to extend its arms to the extent that it looks like an orang utan or a gibbon. I guess the long arms of the gundam enables it to do melee attacks at longer ranges. The other weird aspect of this gundam is it's stomach and chest beam launcher.

Gundam X is another great anime and mecha. I wonder which anime will I watch next. I haven't checked up on Amagami SS. I'm very sure I've been missing a lot episodes from this anime. I've also gotten Mobile Suit Gundam and Gundam Seed Destiny as well as the Seed Destiny Special Edition. Thinking of rewatching Gundam Seed Destiny. I recently just finished rewatching Gundam Seed. I was younger and didnt really understand the story when Gundam Seed was released years ago. I'm excited to watch the original Gundam series, Mobile Suit Gundam. When I watched the first episode, my face was all smiles and was nearly laughing as the opening song was playing. Tobeyo, Gandamu... I guess it only shows that Gundam has come a long way from it's humble beginnings as a children-oriented show (supposed to be). My friend, Derek, warned me that the age-old quality of this classic may make the series hard to appreciate, since we grew up in the 90s while the original Mobile Suit Gundam was a 70s-80s show. But I didn't care. I've already seen so much classic gundam, I might as well see the origin of the entire gundam franchise.

International History was another letdown. If that is the case, I wonder if I have any reason to feel a little bit hopeful for the upcoming Literature and Management papers.

19 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

Listing

2010-11-10T22:44:00.005+08:00

I decided to list all the anime and manga that I have watched and read and as well as the anime and manga that I am currently watching. It's a way to keep track of what I've done so far in all of my 19 years. A lot of gundam. Yes, I should just declare that I'm Gundam Otaku. As I type this, I'm staring at and being stared at by two mobile suits, SD Strike Freedom and SD Gundam NT-1 Alex. I've had the two on my laptop desk for quite some time. They don't seem to be collecting dust unlike their HG 1/144 counterparts that I also own since I'm always fiddle with my two SD gundams.

Back to the topic of listing. As I tried to remember the anime and manga that I've completed (to me completed means watching every episode or reading every chapter), I realised that I had totally forgottten about Neon Genesis Evangelion. I remembered how I was really hyped by the series after watching their recently released movies. I then tried to watch the anime version. It went really well. For someone who watched the better quality movie first, I was pretty impressed by the quality of the anime even though it was released quite a long time ago, back when tv anime used dull colours. I was watching the anime halfway, through a streaming website, when there was a problem with one of the episodes. I remembered trying to watch that episode again and again. I believed I gave up and became victim to another cool anime. If I'm not wrong, that anime was Trigun. Anyway, I'm going to try to and watch and complete Evangelion anime again someday. It's a really good series.

I arranged the completed anime and manga list according to when I completed them, with the most recent at the top. As you can see, D.Gray-Man was the first anime I've completed. D.Gray-Man was a hectic experience. I remember, back in the days of TV channel "Central" there was "Arts Central" and they had this segment called Animania on tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays, if i'm not wrong. There was a period when they actually showed the same episode on the same week as the Japanese broadcast. It was really exciting for me back then. I remembered waiting for a week to pass in order to just watch the next episode of D.Gray-Man. This is not something i won't experience nowadays since my focus is on anime that were released aquite some time back and there is no need to wait except when i'm downloading the entire series. But still, it was a great series. D.Gray-man opened my eyes to the world of anime.

I also recently completed Turn A Gundam, another great anime and gundam series. I heard that Turn A Gundam was not so well received since it was quite an unconventional Gundam series. One of the main proofs of its unconventionality is the Gundam itself. While the gundam is still the White Devil, the design of the mecha is so different, so un-gundam, with the usual Gundam V-fin converted into a mustache. Unsurprisingly, the Turn A Gundam is also referred to as the "Mustache" in the anime. One thing that makes this Gundam series so great is that the events in Turn A Gundam occur after the all of the events in the Gundam series that were released before it. Turn A Gundam was the last major Gundam production before the release of Gundam Seed, so in a way it also serves as the conclusion of the entire Gundam Universe, with the exception of Gundam Seed and other gundam productions after Seed. I also like how they add in scenes from the previous Gundam series into Turn A Gundam. It's a pity that the series wasn't so well received.

Another thing that i decided on was to change the way I write things on this blog. Previously I was writing in stanzas. Now I'm writing in proper paragraphs and sentences as far as possible. Trying my best to make sure that word at the beginning of every sentence starts with a capital letter and all of my "I"s are in capital letters too. In other words, increasing use of the "Shift" button.

I met with Aqeel and Sufiana on my way back from Popular. Those two seem to be doing well. Aqeel seems to always have his guitar with him. It's great to suddenly see them after so long.

So far I've gone through two A level papers. My first, the Southeast Asian paper, was a total loss. No surprise since I did not do any studying, be it serious or not. I did not even pretend to be studying. I don't find it worth doing anymore. Today I had my General Paper exam. Even though I didnt study for it, I seem to fare better than expected. Although that doesn't guarantee a pass for me. International History paper for me tomorrow. I think it'll be another screw up.. And to think that History is/was my best subject.

22 DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

Cave

2010-11-07T07:42:00.003+08:00

Leave me alone, it's nothing serious.
I'll do it myself, it's got nought to do with you
And there's nothing you could do.

You can see it and you can almost hear it too,
You can almost taste it, it's nought to do with you
And there's still nothing that you could do.

So come in my cave
and I'll burn your heart away.
Come in my cave,
and I'll burn your heart away.

Please close your ears and try to look away
So you'll never hear a single word I say
and don't ever come my way.

Leave me alone, it's nothing serious.
I'll do it myself, it's got nought to do with you
And there's still nothing you could do.

So come in my cave,
and i'll burn your heart away.
Come in my cave,
and arrest me for my mistakes.

by Muse

Southeast Asian History paper tomorrow
I'm ready

24 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS

mizuno

2010-10-27T22:34:00.008+08:00

revision is doing pretty well
actually i havent even studied one bit
if i tried harder
i probably would have forgotten how to write a history essay
well, for the most of it
ive forgotten how to attempt a literature essay
and absolutely no clue what to include in a management essay

ehh
why am i talking about revision??
its not like im so worried about A levels right??
after all i'm really working hard towards my desired grades..
(people with no literature background should still understand)
despite the irony (or is it sarcasm or juxtaposition??)
i believe i do want the grades that will be the results of my current actions

talking about current actions
i'm currently doing anything but studying
watching anime
just finished the 6 episodes of gundam 0800; war in the pocket
about to finish season one of nodame cantabile
made me appreciate classical music more
and i'm about to finish azumanga daioh too
i havent been watching that anime constantly
but its ok since there's not much of a storyline or plot
it is focused more on short stories
and i also just finished the perverted or hentai anime
seitokai yakuindomo (translation: school student council)
nice anime.. its like azumanga daioh, short-story based anime
without a general plot or storyline, but with the added punch
of dirty and perverted sex jokes.. the best part is that
the main female characters are the perverted ones
whereas the main male character is the innocent one
looking forward to the second season of seitokai yakuindomo
or S.Y.D. for short...

another anime that i'm watching (or trying to watch)
is Amagami SS
it is a romantic anime
it is unique since it was based on a Playstation 2 dating game,
Amagami, in which the player, a guy with a broken heart tries
to get back to dating after he was rejected two years ago.
in the anime, there are six story arcs in which the main character,
Tachibana-kun falls in love with one of the 6 girls
so far i've only seen the first and second arc
the anime is still ongoing and that is probably why i find it hard
to view the anime. out of the six girls in Amagami,
my favourite would be Haruka Morishima, the cute and popular girl
but i've only seen two story arcs so far,
so maybe its still to early to make a judgement
i'm looking forward to seeing the story arc on Tsukasa Ayatsuji
who seems to be the hardworking but also manipulative girl
(hmm brings back memories, especially the manipulative part) haha

other than anime
i'm also reading manga
i'm currently reading a manga called Suzuka
a romantic manga with the theme of track and field
which makes it a fun and interesting manga for me to read
its about a guy, named akitsuki, who loves this girl, Suzuka
who happened to excel in high jump
and caused him to join the track and field team as a sprinter
and along the way their relationship as well as Akitsuki's
sprinting performance are overcome with obstacles
i'll probably be done with the manga soon

also reading a manga called Kimi no Iru Machi
(translated: A Town where you live)
which was also authored by the same person who wrote Suzuka
this manga is still ongoing, so i dont read it as often as Suzuka
i only read it when the latest chapter comes out
it still has the same romantic theme as Suzuka

well that is what i'm currently doing
and i seemed to have written alot
but that is all side-tracked stuff
my actual purpose of writing this post is actually about shoes
see the title
"mizuno"

Mizuno is a japanese sportswear brand that specialises in sports shoes
i wanted to talk about Mizuno because
i'm thinking of getting Mizuno shoes
when i am going to get a new pair of running shoes to replace
my current new balance 902
why Mizuno? well i guess it's due to this craze about Japan
besides, it's good to try out different brands
i've been wearing three shoes from new balance
for the past three years..
three shoes.. 429, 826 and the current 902
have served me really well
but i think i might not be able to say farewell to new balance yet
one of the shoes that is used in national service is a New Balance shoe
but i dun mind choosing the Brooks shoe either
cant wait for national service

cant be avoided
but i'll still write this:
hmm let's see.. today is the 27th of October
(can't believe (in a good and bad way) that last week i had Graduation tea)

36 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A LEVELS
*12 days to Southeast Asian History Paper
(but what do I care?)
only looking forward to the words in bold.

master procastinator

2010-10-03T19:39:00.006+08:00

hello october the third
also known as
the 36th day to A levels
also known as
the 60th day to The End of A levels

As for me, I'm the Master Procastinator
maybe i'm not the master
i also get bored of not doing anything
and run out of ideas on how to avoid studying
the feeling of wanting to studying keeps creeping up on me
thankfully i've got a natural defense against studying:
i get sleepy whenever i try (if i manage) to study
and i used to be really sleepy in school
now i'm not so sleepy at all
cycling to school helps to keep me awake
get my blood circulating to the areas where it is needed
like the brain, eyelids, neck, shoulders, back
well when i'm studying (trying to) i usually put books, files, worksheets and essays in front of me then i write something
then i pause
then i continue writing a bit
then i pause
then i take out a piece of paper and start to draw
if it's not drawing i'll be walking around
before i know it hours would have passed.

i'm so ready die in my 24-day war

to whom it may concern

2010-09-20T01:22:00.002+08:00

hello blog

just watched a very moving movie
tokyo tower
made me cry
and also made me think
so much that i cant sleep and also why i'm writing this blog
as i was thinking, many thoughts raced through my mind
the movie, my mom, what a lousy person i am, school, my life of mistakes mistakes and more mistakes, attitudes towards women, confession to azura, exams, what i think i should have done and should be doing..
and lastly, before turning on my laptop,
death, the ultimate conclusion..
i kept thinking of how my death would make the lives of the people around me so much easier. and its true. i just cause trouble for myself and others where ever i go.
however i believe suicide is never justified,
i want to die but i cant due to my own principles, so i'm stuck. like how my life always is.

in any event that i really die
all i want is a say in how my grave will be like
(before the government digs it up to renew the grave site)
in short, i want my grave to be exactly like my paternal grandfather's grave
a simple grave. lacks decoration. no marble grave please.
just a mound of earth covered in carpet grass, bordered by bricks.
simple grave stones. and plant a tree, or some plant that is tough.

as i sat thinking in the dark
my mom looked at me and told me
if i cant sleep, i should pray.
and i was just thinking of it.
hopefully after writing this, i will really pray.

yellow dress with black patterns

2010-08-10T22:50:00.002+08:00

116 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i was at pasir ris at 11pm sharp
and i waited there for three hours
and cat wasnt there
if i waited any longer, someone might call the police
and arrest me for loitering for way too long..
hahaha
i've never been so worried in a really long time

turns out today that she's supposed to have an outing with her family
in sentosa
and i found out about it when she's arriving in vivocity
and i was still in pasir ris
so immediately took the train
the journey gave me quite some time to reflect

it was really unnerving
to be waiting for her replies
as i sat in the train
i kept thinking.. maybe her mom confiscated her phone
(cat had a quarrel with her mom)
(and it was because of me...)
but i think to confiscate a 21 year old's phone
is really some harsh punishment

when i arrived at vivo
she was already at sentosa
it was like some kind of silly chase

eventually i arrived at siloso beach
i saw her, i smiled when i think of how i always managed to recognize her
whenever i spotted her
she wore a short yellow dress
a bra with spots or leopard prints
and slippers adorned with seashells, which i think are cowries
and shades
a really pretty and cute cat

and we talked
we were in good terms
like how friends, best friends should be

saw her sister, monica
who is of the same age as me
and she wore a black bikini
i asked cat why she wasn't wearing a bikini
she said she forgot
REGRET #1: not seeing cat in a bikini

kept looking at cat's sister
i think she's really hot
thankfully cat wasn't annoyed
according to her,
"because you love me more right??"

gave her the stuff i wanted to give her
the 2008 yearbook
which she was so happy to receive
and we looked through the yearbook
page by page
looking at people she knew

then i gave her another gift
something which i thought was really cute
and suitable for her
and post-its too
which i wrapped in wrapping paper with butterfly patterns

and that was it
3 or 4 long hugs
waves
and i we went off
she joined her family
i went off with my family

we continued texting
then i told her i really miss kissing
she told me she would have kissed me
but the whole time i was with her
somehow i looked as if i didnt need a kiss
that was when i really really felt stupid
wasted opportunity... argh!
REGRET #2: not kissing cat

oh well
regrets aside..
i was glad i was able to meet cat again
and hold her in my arms
see you soon cat

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

45th National Day

2010-08-09T22:18:00.001+08:00

115 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

it's the padang again.
i must say that i'm quite impressed with this year's national day
enjoyed watching the parade, aerial show and mobile column

i thought this year's national day song sucked
but it sounded a lot better when sezairi and sylvia sang
last year's song, by electrico was ok
but i have issues with some of the remixed versions of the classics
classics that singaporeans know and love
well i guess my generation and older will know the classics

my favourite classic is home..
followed by count on me singapore

i guess i wasnt the NEC president for nothing

i was texting cat to see if were ok with each other
as i read her messages
i sensed that her tone was reassuring
and it shocked me, a bit
i thought that she'll be angry with me
it was the same yesterday when i messaged her after she left
her tone was reassuring, calm, as if nothing happened
and i was shocked too then, but felt relieved as well
there were smiley faces and "xxx"s at the end of her messages
and she still called me "hun"
i guess i was just overreacting

i reflected that if was in cat's shoes
a person who just came back to singapore
and has limited time here
i wouldnt and shouldnt be angry at anyone
i should be happy and grateful to even be able meet my friends again
even former enemies
and share memories and do some catching up

yeah and i wasnt very understanding to cat
sorry for making you go through all of that
sorry cat :(

i'm really lousy with women and girls....
i'm gonna be single for a long time to come

so as we texted each other
i suddenly want to see her again
(and i want to give her something too)
she said she was ok with it,
although she had plans
so i had to meet her in the morning

and i was really happy

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

eight eight ten

2010-08-08T22:03:00.002+08:00

116 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

slept a dreamless night
woke up in jerrold's condo..
slept on the cold hard floor
maybe if i wasnt so distant from cat during the bbq last night
i could have shared some warmth between her
hahaha
speculations

emmanuel is in guards
he says there's a lot of malays there
got some tips from him last night
hopefully i'll remember them when the time comes

went home with cat and syaz
cat dropped off at clementi to go for mass
there has been some kind of tension between us
since the last few hours
the train bumped as cat gave me a half-hug
i can't believe this how we are going to be concluding our meeting
after 2 years

the train accelerates towards jurong east
syaz and i talked about nothing but cat
i was really sad

arrived home at around 11am
and slept

good morning cat

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

meeting cat, 08a3 gathering

2010-08-07T23:21:00.001+08:00

117 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

stayed overnight in the chalet
then went to meet cat at pasir ris
from one bbq to another
great... (sarcastic)

i meet cat
i immediately noticed her as she waltzed into the train station
she looked so hot
i find it really hard to believe she's in front of me
she tuns back, saw me and went
"OH MY GAWD"
in a super refined British Accent
"GIMME A HUG"
well i was really shocked at the britishness of her voice
it was nice and peculiar
as i listened to it i really seemed to like it
kinda cute
and Cat was cute too
the outfit she wore was fatally hot
and we talked
wow she really stands out from the crowd with a hot look
and british accent

we boarded the train
went through the green line, circle line and purple line
got off at potong pasir, took a bus
went to jerrolds house
we were the first there
played mahjong while waiting for the stuff and people to come
Cat taught me how to play
Jerrold won the first game
then Syaz and Jahafar arrived
Syaz joined the mahjong game
Surprisingly, I won the second game
doorbell rings
the bbq delivery man is here
he left the bbq stuff we need
than Wani and Humaira arrive
and we then went to the bbq pit

we tried to a make a fire
a bbq fire
took us quite a long time
even after the class has arrived, the fire kept dying out
me, jahafar and kim
became full time bbq chefs/cooks
jahafar was the head chef,
i was the assistant head chef
and kim was the assistant chef
well it looked that way
and jerrold was the share holder in our bbq restaurant
who helped start the fire

cooked lots of food
i was so occupied with cooking that i forgot about talking to everyone
well at least i made it a point to talk to Melanie
but i talked very little to the people there
except for the full-time and part-time chefs
who i gave orders and jokes during the cooking
i was quite sad that i didnt get to talk much to cat
hopefully we'll just order pizza for future gatherings
at least the food is guaranteed to be delicious and edible
and nobody will have to cook, giving more time to chat and socialise

after the bbq, most of us went home
emman, syaz, jahafar, humaira, cat and i stayed over night at jerrold's place

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

school celebration, appreciation tea, family bbq

2010-08-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

118 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

National Day Celebrations in School
came to school in NCC Uniform
went to school with Track Captain Eve
wearing the uniform brings back memories

last year i was the President of the National Education Council (NEC)
this year during National Day Celebrations
i'm a First Sergeant of the National Cadet Corps (NCC)
and the lowest ranking Uniformed group member in the parade
even the fakes are higher ranked than I am
anyway i was part of the colours party (State Flag and School Flag)
holding the School Flag at the top right corner
and bringing in the flag with a slow march

people keep telling me that i looked good in my NCC uniform
maybe its just a side of me that has never been shown

after the Celebrations,
went to the NE Corner, which is outside the school library
for my appreciation tea
sad to say that in my council,
only fikri, weiling and I turned up
from the 5NEC; joyce, rafidah, dinesh and tong was there
and of course most of the 7NEC and 8NEC were there
so there are 4 generations
ate pizza together
and had chat
and played a game in which you try to guess the multiple of 5
great to see the NEC again

after the appreciation tea
went to pasir ris chalet
where my family and relatives had a bbq
to celebrate one of my cousin's birthday
as well as our nation's birthday
i was doing a lot of bbqing

met ariffin, former classmate in 08a1, there
he was telling me how emo i looked at night

well i wasnt emo at all
i was only texting cat and waiting for her reply

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

cat returns

2010-08-05T23:00:00.001+08:00

119 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

Cat is back in singapore
but i didnt go to see her at the airport
my plan was to go to school today
but unfortunately, i woke up late, and had a bloody headache
so i took mc
could have gone to see cat but oh well
i'll wait till saturday

i begin to text cat again
memories

CAT IS IN SINGAPORE

full-dress

2010-08-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

120 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

today was quite a wasted day if it wasnt for national day rehearsal
2 periods of break in the beginning
followed by gp.. thankfully our gp tutor is here
then we're supposed to have 4 periods of lit
but both of my lit teachers had something on

full-dress rehearsal
wore jockey cap
feels good to be wearing the army uniform again
my left foot aches in pain
probably not used to the boots after such a long time

cat's coming back tomorrow

1 VERY LONG DAY UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

sleeping enemy

2010-08-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

121 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

went for night study today
although it was an improvement from yesterday's night study
nothing beneficial came out of it
well i attempted to write a essay for literature paper 1
i was writing the first paragraph and i fell asleep
then i woke up.. wrote something.. not even a sentence
then i went back to sleep.. and woke up and slept and woke up and slept...
and it went on and on until 8:35 in which i thought i had enough
and decided to go home since it wasnt doing any good for me
if i was sleeping on my work instead of doing it
might as well go home and sleep
tried to wake up early to do some work
but that turned out to be impossible
i guess my body is really against me studying
a clear indication that studying's not for me
it seems that i have an automatic reaction to go to sleep whenever i try to study
so i guess my body's not suitable for studying..
but what to do
nobody listens to me
even when i'm speaking
so i can only suffer for the time being

2 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

planner

2010-08-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

122 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i promised that i won't give up A Levels during last friday's parent-teacher meeting
but that was a promise that was made half-heartedly
(because if i didnt promise anything the meeting won't end)
and my efforts are still half-hearted

so today i discussed with my home tutor who teaches me lit on what i'm going to be doing to help me prepare myself for A levels
all i could think of was Night Study
so i made a plan to go for night study on every school day
and i'm supposed to study a topic from a certain subject during night study

but for today's night study
i wasted it by using the time to make the night study schedule
i didnt study southeast asian history as i was supposed to
what a lousy start
to plan that was supposed to give me hope

and i still don't see any hope

3 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

Neon Genesis Evangelion

2010-08-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

123 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

currently watching Neon Genesis Evangelion
great anime

4 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

evangelion

2010-07-31T21:07:00.002+08:00

124 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

watched an anime movie on dvd
evangelion 2.22 you can (not) advance
great show
sparked my interest towards Neon Genesis Evangelion

as a fan of gundam
i thought gundam was the one and only
and that other mecha anime are crap
i watched code geass
and i hated the mecha in that anime

but it changed when I watched Evangelion 2.22 You Can (Not) Advance
i really like the mecha there
but that was after i liked the characters
very much different from gundam
in which i focus my attention mostly on the mecha and storyline
but evangelion has done a great job with its characters
my favourite would be asuka
i remember watching a bit of the first modern evangelion movie,
Evangelion 1.0 you are (not) alone
but i didnt have any sparks of interest
probably due to my stereotype with non-gundam mecha then
so i'll definitely watch the movie again and try and fall in love with it

as a gundam fan, i know gundam has a lot of flaws
flaws which give me plenty of reason to hate it
to start, even though gundam has many spin-offs
such as recently, seed, 00, unicorn
and classics, zeta, stardust, X, Victory, G, Wing
(did I mention them all?) nope, there's still some more
even with the many spin-offs there's a lot of borrowed storyline
and to certain extent borrowed images between the gundam series
sad to say, it's kinda like pokemon
in which the mobile suits are different but the storyline is just the same
only with some alterations
(then again, maybe i've not watched enough gundam to confirm this)
i hate the idea of a strong protagonist group fighting overwhelming numbers of enemy forces and winning every single time
and the key to this is a special mobile suit that is different from the rest
that is experimental
and the pilot of the mobile suit has some sort of ability that makes him super and undefeatable
in a way he's too perfect,
(minus the emotional side that gundam producers always try to present him)
probably in an attempt to prevent him from being too perfect,
like superman (damn i hate superman, death to superman!)
oh and it's always a guy..
(i'm so happy there's so many female characters in Neon Genesis Evangelion)
and growing up watching gundam seed,
i realised that most of the fight scenes,
the gundam scenes are always repeated

and what the hell is up with the mysterious and masked blond men?!
Char Aznable from Mobile Suit Gundam;
Rau le Creuset from Gundam Seed;
Neo Roanoke from Seed Destiny;
Mr Bushido from Gundam 00;
and i know there's one in Gundam Wing..
yeah, a lot of disappointments with Gundam

Neon Genesis Evangelion
i guess one reason why i'm loving it is because
it addresses the flaws that i don't like in gundam
lack of repeated scenes
the humans are fighting a losing war against the angels
angels are more powerful than the protagonist
and the protagonist has to struggle so hard to defeat the angels
and it's usually one-on-one combat
well at least the number is always kept to a minimum
(compare that to the 1 versus hundreds in gundam)
so many female characters
the main character, is a guy, but he's quite down to earth
he has similar problems any normal person would have
such as, friends, family, stress, superiors bossing you around
and he is not perfect
oh and there's religion involved
(kinda like D.Gray-man)
so i like that aspect as well

i'm also quite shocked that the original anime
has only one season
because there are quite a number of movies for evangelion
unlike gundam which has so many series
but there is real quality in the artwork,
the mecha, the characters, the storyline
all packed into one anime
it's perfect that it doesnt need a continuation
like Trigun

in short
I really love Neon Genesis Evangelion
hoping that the next two movies come out really soon
i wanna see asuka with her eyepatch

5 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

awkward silence

2010-07-30T20:41:00.001+08:00

125 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

friday
parent-teacher meeting
(with student)

awkward silence was prevalent throughout the meeting
from the beginning to the end

my mom and dad came
my dad was silent throughout the meeting
my mom spoke a mixture of malay and english
my home tutors spoke only english
oh a funny thing was that
my home tutors,
one was malay, she's my literature teacher
the other was chinese, a math teacher, but he's malaysian
and my mom isnt all that fluent in english
so she tries her best to complain and scold me in a medium that can be understood by my two teacher
i kinda felt sad seeing her like that
it really was a struggle for her, since she was educated in malay
my lit teacher, she's malay but her malay isn't that good
but at least she understands what my mom says
strangely, my co-home tutor, the malaysian, didnt say anything malay
and i was mostly silent throughout the ordeal
usually giving only one-word replies or awkward dumb-faced stares
well i felt guilty and that's when my vocal chords love to shut down

the language barrier was briefly broken when my management teacher came
i was shocked to see her grabbing a chair and placing herself next to my lit teacher
she was a more conventional malay woman than my lit teacher
and her education made her fluent in malay and english unlike my mom
which made it possible for her to communicate with my mom and tutors
well being an important figure in school
she had a call and went off and it became awkward again
well at least for me

the gist of the meeting is that
i've lost my interest in studying
or what i call "drive" during the meeting
(maybe it was a reference to robert's "machinery")
and my tutors and parents wanted me to just strive on
get an A level cert
even if i don't want to go to a university after school
of course in order for the meeting to end
(to be honest, i think it was the longest parent-teacher meeting i've ever had)
(thankfully it's the last)
there has to be some resolution
so i had to come up with solutions that could shed some hope on what i think is hopeless
my co-home tutor suggested seeing the school counselor
oh well, if i dont say anything
i they won't stop tormenting me until i die
"No rest for the Wicked" indeed...

i wonder if i can keep up a positive outlook on life

6 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

countdown counter

2010-07-29T20:32:00.002+08:00

126 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i was sleepy during lit class
and mob too
and gp

i thought i slept early last night

oh and i didnt go for night study
my seasian hist teacher didnt seem to remember it
besides she hasnt checked everyone's history packages
so it wouldnt be fair to me
even though i've not done my work

you might have noticed that i don't post a blog after every single day
well it's kinda hard to keep up that kind of schedule
so i update my blog every few days
but i made sure there's a post for every single day
so that the countdowns will go on smoothly
(since i suck at math)

7 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

Slow March

2010-07-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

127 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i'm taking part in the school's National Day parade
i'll do anything to wear my NCC uniform again for the last time
before going for my national service

i'm supposed to be a part of the guard-of-honour contingent
but due to unforeseen circumstances
i was put into the flag party
specifically the top left hand corner of the school flag
and the worst part of it is that i have to do slow march
today was the first time i did slow marching
i was a bit wobbly at first
but thanks to the guidance from fellow uniformed group members
i soon learned the steps
although i must admit that my footdrill is really sucky
3 years of not marching and wearing boots
and my feet have lost the confidence to produce a solid bang
guess i need practice
and some backbone and discipline too
i think i was goofing off way too much during the rehearsal

8 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

Super Thursdays

2010-07-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

128 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

looks like i will be having Super Thursdays from this week onwards
paper 1 literature lessons for four periods until 5:25 pm
after that i'll be having forced History Nightstudy
Southeast Asian History
Nightstudy ends at 9pm?
i arrive in school at 7am
so that will mean 14 hours in school
Super Fucking Thursdays

9 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

happy two wheels

2010-07-26T20:16:00.001+08:00

129 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

school
i hate school.
but i like going to school.
that's because i cycle to school.
what I like better is going home.

did the "Quality of School Experience" survey in the morning
needless to say i was very honest
ticked a lot disagrees and strongly disagrees

10 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

Dilemma

2010-07-25T23:43:00.006+08:00

wow a title, haven't seen that in a while
and it's not some smart-ass quote too

130 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i didn't forgot what happened today
but i still blame my current obsession with Gran Turismo 2
and i played the game for hours today and yesterday
yes a very much wasted weekend

yep i didn't do a single piece of work
school work none

but that is not what I wish to talk about today

I wish to talk about the Dilemma that my life currently has

here it is:

i've made up my mind that i'm not gonna work hard for A levels
because i can't be bothered by it
because i'm gonna fail because i'm so far behind
because i'm gonna fail even if i tried
and i really don't wanna come to school
i wanted to withdraw but my parents won't allow it
the teachers there, probably wont allow me to withdraw too
refusing to give up on me even when i've given up on myself
still helping taking the time,
scheduling time for me although is see no hope
still persistent trying to bring out the "Hard Work" "Hard Studying"
out of me but i tell you it's not in me
i dont have it

i feel that attending classes wont make a difference
i just get in the way of the teachers
increase their stress and this affects the other students
students who have hope or want to have the hope to succeed in A levels
i hate it whenever i think of this
that my actions will affect the other students

every school day that i attend is a school day that i want to skip
but skipping school is not easy
i'm a hopeless guilt-ridden fellow
still hesitant of doing wrong things
to skip school without a valid reason,
that idea has been very tempting
and i have always wanted to try it, to make a habit out of it
but my guilt just stops me
getting MCs or medical certificates
i've done it before
but it's really pricey at 5 dollars per doctor consultation
and i'm not rich and i currently need cash for something else
and i forbid myself from borrowing money from others
i've thought of other ways
i'm always thinking of jumping in front of a fast moving vehicle
not to kill myself but to get injured and be out of school for weeks
i envy those with sickly bodies who have the privilege
of always skipping school with a valid reason
anyway the stunt of getting myself injured (maybe not with a speeding vehicle)
could work and get myself weeks of no-school days
but the drawback is that such accidents will definitely demote my
PES grading, which i need for my NS and possible future army career
and the medical fees will be expensive too

about the withdrawal
i've always thought of getting expelled since i cant be withdrawn
i've thought of crimes to do
some notorious ones
but if there's one that i would want to do,
it's to assault a teacher
every morning a male teacher would be there standing near the gate
to give out verbal beating to students as they come into school
even though they are not late yet
that bespectacled teacher is currently my number one target
i would be happy to punch him take his spectacles
and break them in front of him
of course there are also other teachers on the list
but no thanks to my shyness and guilt
there probably wont be any student-teacher violence from me

yeah

when i'm young
younger than i am now
i used to see visions during my sleep and my semi-conscious state
i saw a vision of straight lines which will be moving at a moderate and slow speed
and whenever i see that vision i become calm
but those lines, as they move they change
they move faster and become jagged and zigzagged
and that is when my mind starts to go wild, as in a nightmare
i become restless, my head aches, really badly
as i was sleeping i start to sweat
i hear noises, unpleasant noises
the zigzagged lines the become darker, into images which i just can't describe
and they're ugly like dark evil mountains passing by at an alarming speed so fast
and they just keep on coming non-stop
i was afraid of them, those images
i remember wishing for it to stop while i was asleep
i remember wanting to see those straight lines again while i was asleep
i remember being afraid to sleep fearing that i'll see such horrible sights again
most of the times the straight lines do return and
i remember how immediate i calmed down when i saw the straight and silent lines
but sometimes the images just dont stop running through my mind
until the very moment i wake up
and i'll wake up bathed in sweat and gasping for air
and i'll be wide awake trying to keep myself from sleeping
even when its three in the morning
but eventually i return back to sleep
but whether or not i see the lines
just seem to be beyond my control

when i wrote the nasty things on top
i saw glimpses of the horrible zigzagged lines
and it compelled me to write about them

hopefully i wont see them in my sleep tonight

11 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-07-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

131 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

yes Gran Turismo 2!!
a never ending game of racing and collecting cars
can't seem to stop cant I?
if i was playing the game on a PS one
i can smash the disk and cry
but too bad the game is inside my laptop
which i'll never ever attempt to destroy
unless of course it destroys itself
to which i'll get it repaired
and then play the same old games over and over again
i'm also playing dino crisis 2, again
the game finishes quickly
but i just love to play the game over and over again
i'll never get bored because i live a boring life that i'll never get sick of
if there's one thing that i think that can't kill me
it's boredom
because i'm a super boring person
and this is a super boring blog
which i presume is for my eyes only

fuck A levels

12 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-07-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

132 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

13 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-07-22T22:58:00.001+08:00

133 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

14 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

yes its fourteen, not thirteen
thirteen would be tomorrow
i just realised this when i noticed that yesterday was wednesday
and cat is arriving on a thursday

so since there are 7 days in a week,
14 days after a wednesday should be a wednesday,
not a thursday
so i screwed up on the counting part

hahaha
i'm so bad at counting that i can't keep count of the simple things
i cant even count days
i guess it shows just how much i've degraded
i've become stupider and stupider
every single day that i attend school
now seems to be a reminder to remind me what an idiot i am
i am an idiot to be where I am
and in school, in class
I am the biggest idiot
never quite able to do anything right

does that make any sense?
well if it doesnt it only proves to show what an idiot i am

i'm really feeling the idiot in me
writing this post in this blog
i feel that my grasp of english
my command of english was withered away
at times i will be unsure whether the grammar is correct
or the spelling
i'm always unsure
always not in the know
always stupid

some things in life
there's no going back once you've started something
is there no hope at all?
even if there is i just do not seem to want to believe it

14 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-07-21T22:53:00.001+08:00

134 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

14 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

oh 2 weeks more
am i ready??
physically?
financially?
emotionally?

i wonder

2010-07-20T22:52:00.000+08:00

135 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

15 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-07-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

136 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

forgot what happened today
blame it on my current obsession
with Gran Turismo 2

16 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“I've literally gotten out of my chair, lain on the floor and fallen sound asleep,”

2010-07-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

137 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

today i found a great manga to read
BLACK JACK!
by Osamu Tezuka

today was the first time I read the manga
and my first time was in hardcopy,
the book was borrowed from the library

although this is the first time reading the manga
it's not the first time i've heard of the character, Black Jack
in fact i first heard of him in a funny japanese show,
Gaki no Tsukai, in the No Laughing Hospital Special
apparently, in the no laughing game,
black jack was played by a comedian and like the manga
he was a shady looking character, always in a black long overcoat
and has a little girl following him everywhere
and drives a black car
the best part about the comedian's portrayal of Black Jack
was that every time the five victims;
Hamada, Endo, Matsumoto, Tanaka and Yamasaki,
had an encounter with Black Jack,
Black Jack will immediately leave the scene and
some reason everyone will be laughing and got punished for that

i've also read other works by Osamu Tezuka
and i must say i'm quite impressed
with the storyline
i think he's the creator or artist of astro boy

17 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games”

2010-07-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

138 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i forgot to write about something yesterday
probably because i was too occupied playing games

yesterday i watched the movie
Despicable Me
with my siblings

great movie

"son, you're too late. NASA has stopped sending monkeys to space"

18 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.”

2010-07-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

139 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

Ash - Lose Control

19 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Technology: No Place for Wimps!”

2010-07-15T14:51:00.000+08:00

140 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i always keep pain pills (from Left 4 Dead)
in my bag so as to keep me alive
whenever i'm dying in class

better to have pain pills than to have your friend help you up
when you're incapacitated
it'll be even worse if the teacher sees you in an incapacitated state

20 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.”

2010-07-14T14:32:00.002+08:00

141 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

last official track training
didnt run
only went there to elect the new
captain, vice captain and training head
well its not like my vote will make a difference
voting was done by raising hands
so its not a true democracy

congrats to the new captain, eve,
who was the previous vice captain
congrats to the new vice-captain, rachel,
who was the previous training head
and congrats to the new training head, dave
who was the previous nonsense talker in the track team
wait, i think he is still playing that role
but i hope he'll cherish and live and perform up to his leadership role
and that goes to rachel and eve as well

today was supposed to be the last training for the seniors
but daniel wasnt there, he probably wasnt told about it
or his class ended late
so out of the three retiring seniors,
only huishi and i were there to attend the election
seems that martha is retiring from track too
i havent seen her run for a long time
well i hope she's ok
and she has done quite a good job for track welfare

i hope the track team will strive to be better
their future as a team looks so much brighter now that i'm gone

went home with huishi
i wonder if this will be the last time i send her home
am i sad about it?
kind of, but i know i shouldnt be

huishi told me that i was a day earlier in the countdown to the end of A Levels

21 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs”

2010-07-13T23:34:00.003+08:00

141 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i hate Southeast Asian History lessons
every lesson is a battle to stay invisible and unnoticeable
but today and yesterday i failed

so yesterday she called me "Farhan"
and today she called me "Fool"

i wonder what will she call me next week?
"Faggot?"
"Freak?"
"Fishmonger?"
"Fucker?"

pick on somebody else will ya?
at least pick on somebody who wants to do well for history

derek and kenneth announced their plans to disrupt my fast in Ramadhan
and to make things worse
they've brought another idiot along, Emily
like they are gonna achieve anything

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs”

22 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge”

2010-07-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

142 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

lessons sucks today
6 periods of history on mondays
the time table sucks

every time in class
i'm always questioning myself
how much effort i'm going to put inside
the class i'm attending

because i've already made up my mind
that i'll never be ready for A levels
and i'm not gonna pass any subject
i will say that i have been pretending just now
and i'll be doing that for the rest of my school days
i'm pretending that i am concerned with A Levels
Pretending that whatever i'm doing in class will make a difference

Yes, according to the Foo Fighters,
I'm nothing but the Pretender
i know very well i have nothing to gain from it
but i'm a lost cause

i should plan what i'm gonna do during the actual A Levels
i think i'll just draw for 3 hours on the given worksheet
only to crumple it and throw it away at the end of the paper
but i think i'll attempt at least one question in each paper
or at least a section that needs to be tied up separately
so that i'll have something to submit at the end

well that's pretty much what I did for Prelim 1

23 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination”

2010-07-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

143 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

school starts tomorrow..
damn..
120 days left before A levels start
please let it end soon

24 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”

2010-07-10T06:32:00.005+08:00

144 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i had a strange dream
it was about me going back to school
i believe it was a secondary school
and i was in a malay class
the teacher there was just like the teacher that i had in MI
young, attractive
but she was strict
she used a ruler to draw a table on our worksheets
to calculate our marks
i got scolded by her in my dream because of homework

another weird feature of the dream
are my classmates
i sat next to this girl who was about my age
but she revealed that she was older
and had a boyfriend
she reminded me of my classmate in sec 1 and 2, saida
oh and her name started with an "E"
for all i know, she might just be a real person

then seated in front of us are two innocent looking kids
they look so young that they reminded me of primary school kids
maybe they are prodigies
but i remember i was always asking them about
what was going on
what was the question
because i wasnt paying attention
i probably copied from them too
i remembered looking at the worksheet of the girl in front
to see the question for an essay that i didnt do
and she had nice cursive handwriting
the ones people use in the old days
i was shocked
so young yet can do so much
her marks were super good too
then i woke up

the girl who sat with me probably reminded me of my hopeless love life
while those kids reminded me of my stupidity
younger people out there are so much smarter and intelligent
than i am

i have fallen
fallen so far that i cant climb out of the hole

25 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“The best things in life are silly”

2010-07-09T18:44:00.004+08:00

145 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i always watch this show on suria
it's called "Chef Bob Kelong"
a cooking show which shows the life in a kelong

my mum enjoys watching the show,
envying the kelong life shown
as well as the tasty dishes made by chef bob

i heard that my grandmother does not like to watch the show
because chef bob's cooking style has too much western influence
but i'm sure she would like to visit a kelong one day
if god permits it

i would also want to go to a kelong
heck, i would if could
work and live in a kelong
and my skin would turn dark from the exposed sun
and i get to live away from civilization
haha i love to have that life
although i must admit that
i've never ever caught a fish even though i've done fishing before
so i'm not too sure if i'll be of any use in a kelong

26 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.”

2010-07-08T21:46:00.006+08:00

146 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

watched the last episode of Trigun
great anime
it's become one of my favourites

some recurring values in the anime:

No one ever has the right to take the life of another.

Everyone deserves a future.

People have many different ways of thinking.

Even if a mistake is made
As long as a person realizes their mistakes,
it's possible to make it right again.

And if you keep your vision clear,
you will see the future.

27 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives”

2010-07-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

147 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

end of prelims 1
which will prove that i'm not ready for A levels
and i'll never be
a lot of anger and frustration coming soon

what can i do or say to them
to make them give up on me
and concentrate on the hopeful

28 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

"You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.”

2010-07-06T12:42:00.001+08:00

148 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i've been going to my grandparents house
sending food to them
and i've been thinking that i'm a person who lacks love

lacking love as in it's not inside me

i find it hard to talk to my grandparents, or my parents
usually at my grandparent's place,
the tv would be on
my grandmother would make comments
i just add on to her comments
there's always a sense of awkwardness for me
maybe it's the fault of my bad communication skills

but deep inside i don't feel any warmth
maybe that's why i hate air-conditioning and cold places
because i don't have the warmth
that is found inside a normal person's heart
whereas my hard is cold, frozen
maybe the reason as to why i like heat, the sun and hot places

29 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”

2010-07-05T18:59:00.003+08:00

149 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

went out for some extreme cycling today
i aimed to cycle alongside the North-East Line
which is kinda sounds funny because its underground
i passed by all of the NEL stations
except for Sengkang (i got lost somewhere along the way)
which kept me wondering when i was about to reach Punggol
because i wasnt quite sure
whether Punggol or Sengkang was at the end of the NEL
thankfully it was Punggol

my butt is sore

left my house at 8:30 am
arrived at Punggol at 1:34 pm

here's my bike and the background shows
the supposedly haunted Matilda house
the thick bushes and grasses
as well as the presence of wild dogs
prevented me from getting nearer to the run-down mansion

here's what I did to get the shot above:

the sign says "Punggol Walk, Punggol Field"

when i was returning home i passed by this spot
it's called Buangkok Bridge
seems to be an ideal fishing spot

anyway
i arrived home at 5:31 pm

by the way
i live in Jurong West,
the closest MRT station is Boon Lay MRT
so it was quite a long distance
a lot of kilometres

i made sure that i stretched my legs when i returned home
i just hope that i can stand up and walk tomorrow
so that i can still go to school

30 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

2010-07-04T19:44:00.006+08:00

150 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i forgot my username and password to my account in thinkexist.com
so i was looking through my mail for a email from the website
when i found an email from youtube

it happened to be a reply for a comment that i wrote on a video
this is the video:

what was surprising to me was that
my comment was the highest rated comment
with 50 likes
kinda scary to me

its great to hear that people like my comment
but my username, happens to be my id number
and that is really really stupid
can be tracked down
its just as the same as writing my full name, gender, address,
and criminal records
its only recognizable to a few million people
(singaporeans)
who will recognize that an idiot is using his id number as a username
but out there, its a vast world
although it will only concern people who watch Sengoku Basara
but still that could amount to many millions
ok, maybe not
maybe a more accurate figure of the amount of viewers
would be in the thousands
but its still kinda scary

31 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

oh my! one month left

“Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

2010-07-03T23:31:00.001+08:00

151 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

i got dino crisis 2 on my laptop now
although its kinda tough playing the game
using keyboard controls

sometimes it surprises me to know that people read my blog
it surprises me even more to know that people continue to read my blog
because i dont expect that to happen
but still
people will be people

this is a boring blog

my blog is nothing more than just a very honest
first person view of the things that occur in my life
honest?
hmm..
that depends

but usually the things are i post here are my true
filtered but uninfluenced thoughts

when i post something
i feel like i'm talking to myself

i know the government guys might be reading my blog
and thinking and labeling me as a possible
upcoming bad or non-contributing citizen
but i dont really care about that for now
because ever since my very first blog post
i have not posted any post that could jeopardise
our nation's security or independence

well i couldnt remember posting any of such posts

hope i'm right

32 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead”

2010-07-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

152 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

watched trigun and played digimon world on my laptop the whole day
thinking of getting left 4 dead

33 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”

2010-07-01T23:55:00.003+08:00

153 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

Trigun - Vash the Stampede
Love & Peace!

34 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

2010-06-30T23:25:00.003+08:00

154 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

laptop working again
windows 7
quite good
to me its a lot better than vista

so far i've been carrying out my plan to fail prelims
my reason?
because i'm not gonna pass A Levels
let alone getting quality grades

i believe i have failed to plan from the very beginning
and so i'll fail in the end

i don't care what people are gonna say or do
nobody's gonna get me to study
even if i study now
it's already far too late
the principal himself said
that you need to be consistent since year one

well not me
i barely managed to pass year one promos
failed year two promos
teachers pushed me to year three despite failing promos
and now i'm in year three
and i'm suicidal about A-Levels

i won't say that i've wasted three years
i'll say that i've wasted my whole life
i've had a history of making super bad mistakes
hmm
taking pure physics, not taking pure bio
not becoming a cadet lieutenant
not getting 4 distinctions in O levels
(i had two A2s, science and history and two B3s, math and humanities)
fuck my O level scores.. persuaded me to go to arts
going to MI
taking up the A level course
going to arts course instead of science course
taking up h2 lit, h2 history, and h2 management
not taking h2 math, h2 bio, h2 chem
not taking h2 art, i might have been ok there
becoming a lousy president of some school club,
the National Education Council
seriously, i was a lousy example of a leader
and i believe i still am
i'm probably the worst president in the history of the school
no, i am, its fact that can't be denied

and of course, my next biggest shame
will be to fail A Levels after three long years
hopefully this biggest shame will also be my last

i'm gonna start anew after A Levels
which is why i'm counting down to the end of A levels
not to the start of A levels

i'm hoping that i'll do well for NS
i aspire for a career in the Army or Police
i want to be a Guardsman, the khaki beret soldiers
dont think i'm intelligent enough to join the commandos
or possess the necessary physical strength
and i dont think i'll ever have that kind of strength

so all that i have been doing so far is not studying
but i'm kinda looking after myself
i'm cycling often
doing more pull-ups and chin-ups each day
hopefully my fitness can cover my very lousy leadership
and that i can go far in NS
but i wont be able to compete with the other recruits
who i'm sure have far better leadership material
and definitely better academic grades than me
(they have diploma and A-level while i have a puny O level cert)
and have better chances of going to OCS
which is the best place anyone can ever go to in NS

i'll probably end up going to SISPEC
becoming a sergeant
then i'll sign on
hopefully i can stay there long
when i leave the army, or retire
i want to work as a bus driver in the SBS
drive long bus routes like service 174 and 30

35 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-06-29T23:22:00.001+08:00

155 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

laptop down

36 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)

2010-06-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

156 VERY LONG DAYS TO THE END OF A-LEVELS
(02/12/2010 MOB PAPER 2)

laptop down

37 VERY LONG DAYS UNTIL CAT'S ARRIVAL
(05/08/2010)